Psychology. How to get rid of the permanent prosecutor within himself? Psychology How to get rid of a sense of responsibility

Problem responsible

10.06.2015

Snezhana Ivanova

Responsibility is an important link in the formation and development of any personality. Understanding responsibility ...

Responsibility is an important link in the formation and development of any personality. Responsibility understand the conscious fulfillment of the requirements that are presented to a person. The implementation of specific tasks occurs through a volitional effort, intended to concentrate on a result of a particular activity. A responsible person is always experiencing over the consequences of decisions made and guided in its activities a rational approach. No matter how the external conditions are, a person who takes full responsibility for what is happening will always be valid for the benefit of the situation and those around people, without forgetting himself.

The concept of responsibility

The concept of responsibility to each of us is familiar from the children's years. Parents always strive to teach their child with proper behavior in society, so they try to instill with him the rules of decent behavior from the earliest age. We live in society, and we want it or not, they are forced to contact him every day. Other people are not always polite, do not always understand us. Responsibility that is imposed on each of the participants in the interaction, according to its individual and concrete. Let's say if the student at school did not prepare his homework, he must understand that the consequence of his act could be a bad assessment. If an adult commits an immemorable act, contrary to public morality and its own moral values, will answer and before people, and before his own conscience. The concept of responsibility includes the following components.

Personal responsibility

It implies followed by individual settings, the implementation of plans and aspirations. In this case, the personality itself determines that it will answer, what exactly is its task. Personal responsibility can also be in the fact that a person takes a role in society and puts the goal that is going to achieve on time. In this case, he carries personal responsibility for the implementation of actions to improve or develop a specific situation. A person gives the floor and remains faithful to him. Otherwise, he can lose a positive reputation.

Collective responsibility

It implies that a separate individual is in advance in the public system. He is a link in a huge chain that creates movement to the chosen target. Collective responsibility imposes equal rights and obligations for each member of society. A specific personality becomes a valid mechanism in such a system, although it can lead it in separate cases. Here, it is possible to "erase" the boundaries between the individuality of its participants, since the effectiveness of the efforts made for a publicly useful case comes to the fore.

How responsibility is formed

Each person falls into the team early enough. Since childhood, we are involved in the fact that we cannot live outside the society. Sometimes it becomes especially dangerous to have his own opinion, if it goes into incision with the principles of public morality and installations, which there should be a person. Personality, falling into society, from the very beginning learns to live according to his rules, gradually learning what is good, and what is bad. Accordingly, the behavior of the individual changes and the behavior of the individual: he can no longer behave so freely, as it was before, and forced to adapt to the requirements of the collective, to accept the appropriate role. Responsibility in this case is to adequately fit into society and not lose its individuality.

Problem responsible

The problem of responsibility occupies an extremely important position in personality psychology. In importance, it affects the deep aspects of the formation and development of the individual. This problem includes several structural components.

Why not everyone is responsible

If responsibility to consider the conscious desire to fulfill their obligations to society and himself, it turns out that at first an individual needs to raise a strong will. Only that person may not retreat from responsibility, who knows and understands its true price. It is much easier to try to avoid imposing all obligations than to bear the burden of responsibility. This character quality brings individual anxiety and obligations. However, at the same time, responsibility helps to become a disciplined person, to raise the hardness and the correct qualities of character.

If the child is still in some ways to excitely not fulfill this promise, then from an adult will be asked much more stricter for his misconduct, and the consequences of such an error can be more serious. A person who does not want to take responsibility cannot be considered quite mature and independent. Such people are more often subjected to condemnation by the rejection of actions and actions. In Socyum, there is a checked rule that the one who is mistaken must certainly come to the awareness of its wrongness.

What is the true responsibility of the person?

Often, with responsibility, people are confused by a blind way of someone else's will, complete submission to the team and the loss of their opinion. This is an absolute misconception. The responsible person will never make an act contrary to public standards, but he himself will not remain at the expense. Responsibility involves the adoption of certain obligations, followed by preserving itself, its essence under these circumstances. There are such concepts as freedom of choice, responsibility to itself and other people. The first includes the opportunity to act according to its internal installations and beliefs. The second concept is based on to be able to make such decisions that would help develop and improve their own personality. Finally, the third concept is associated with the ability to make decisions regarding interaction with others, to adjust its actions. True responsibility always assumes the presence of common mind and the ability to quickly find a way out of difficult situations.

How liability is related to freedom?

Many philosophers since the times of ancient times were asked by this difficult issue. They reflect on what freedom is, can a person be free to the end or is it only the deepest misconception, visibility?

Responsibility helps to develop discipline. The one who aims to achieve any result is usually not retreating before difficulties, does not seek easy ways. Freedom in this case acts as a kind of motivating link, the installation that helps act according to the specified direction. A person performs the necessary steps in his will, and is aware of the importance and significance of this decision. Even if at the moment he doesn't want to do something at all, he will take the will in his fist and focuses on the task being performed. There are often cases when people with high temperatures or poor well-being appeared at work, because they did not have the opportunity to take sick leave. They realized a greater degree of responsibility to society and sought to be helpful. If the identity decides to develop its best character qualities, talents and abilities - this can also be called freedom and responsibility. Any responsibility involves the presence of a conscious desire for any activity, the formation of motivation and installation on its implementation.

How to develop responsibility

There is no need to prove why the responsibility is so important in life. Without a responsibility, it is impossible to do without a specialist if he considers his activity at least a serious and going to do it for a long time. What steps need to be taken to raise a huge power of will, train the desire to be useful to yourself and society as a whole? The recommendations below will make responsibility for a certain time interval.

Awareness of solid need

Nothing stimulates more than the understanding of the fact that no other will accept responsibility for you. You are responsible for your life yourself and you can embrace it in vain and make the most useful as possible in all respects. Cases themselves are not performed if they do not apply no effort to this. When a clear understanding comes that we themselves are responsible for their actions and partly for the events that happening, I do not want to seek to blame. Mature man will not leave responsibility. Usually the one who realized the need for something is ready to go to the end to victorious achievements. At this stage, the formation of individuality, the development of personality and self-improvement occurs.

Planning activities

Whatever you do, any activity requires a responsible and disciplined approach. It is impossible to work after the sleeves, only to get rid of the unpleasant responsibilities. All activity must be carefully planned. If the amount of work is too big, then it is necessary to smash it into smaller components. Making bulk labor in parts is much easier than the whole. But for this you need to competently approach the planning process.

Try to immediately note the temporary framework in which you are going to work. If the boundaries are too short, then you will have to work every day. It is better that you in the reserve there are two - three additionally free days. In case of unforeseen circumstances (and they can occur at the most unexpected moment) you will know that everyone has time. And this is important, believe me, especially when it comes to urgent and serious work.

Never postpone all on the last day. Believe me, after three days or even a week you will not have a mood to complete the project. Plus, the nervous voltage will be added and you will worry that you do not have time. Leave the most difficult on the last day anyway, what to put yourself in an awkward position, and even make it an intention. Such experiences take a lot of strength and energy in humans, after which it will take time to restore from mental stress. Make everything in advance, and you do not have to be nervous once again.

Forecasting results

Responsibility implies the ability to build a further future in operation. Disciplined personality, one way or another, foresees certain results of its work. Therefore, it is not very difficult to calculate the amount of activity for every day. The ability to anticipate the ultimate goal helps prevent possible errors that may arise if a person is hoping for a favorable case. Forecasting results will help to gather at the moment when tiredness will overcome the fatigue, extinguishes the forces located in the reserve to put them into consumption. Taking responsibility for everything that happens, the personality learns to analyze their work and improve.

Do not back down

Sometimes it happens that some kind of task causes numerous difficulties. In this case, it is necessary to study all existing aspects as soon as possible to prevent a possible error. If you started the activity with which certain obligations are associated, never retreat. In the most difficult situations, contact your help, but do not leave from solving the problem. From what kind of behavior you will choose, your further activity depends. The feeling of victory brings with themselves confidence in its own opportunities.

Thus, the responsibility is closely related to self-awareness, the ability to overcome difficulties, determination. Reaching certain heights in a particular matter, man trains will.

Any business has a responsible - the one who is responsible for organizing the process and the final result. Responsibility has many shades and places of application. There is a financially responsible person. It is criminal responsibility, legal, team, civil law. Responsibility is even when a person does not know about her ("the ignorance of the law does not exempt from responsibility"). On the other hand, there are always people who take more than they can and should. Such people are called hyperial. What to do with this quality and how to get rid of it, so as not to take someone else's responsibility?

What is responsibility and hypership

Definition from Wikipedia:

Responsibility - Personal characteristic of a person describing its ability to thoroughly analyze the situation in advance predicting the consequences (the entire complex of the consequences) of its actions or inaction ... and make the choice of the form of their actions, readily take the consequences of choices as inevitable accomplished facts.

As a result, the responsible person understands that the result depends on his actions. This is the right approach, especially if the responsibility is large, such as:

• among parents;
• drivers;
• working at height, with complex mechanisms;
• entrepreneurs.

Responsibility is important even for a psychologist, psychotherapist - especially if it works with a person having psychological injuries, or a suicidal client.

But if the same psychologist from the example will take responsibility for whether his client suicide will make, or not - it will be reckoned. The difference is very simple and at the same time complex. Simple part:

We cannot and not have the right to take responsibility for adults - they themselves make actions.

The complex part lies in what we can do. An adult man in relation to the child is responsible for everything - but he cannot "steer" by processes inside the child. For example, warm and weather to dress a child so that it does not get sick, we call responsibility. And as soon as the parent begins to worry, he chose the wrong physician, or a treatment regimen, or in general for the fact that the child was caught up - the prefix of hyper- appears. These are excessive obligations that can not withstand any person. AND such obligations have nothing to do with normal human responsibility..

Responsibility is an adequate understanding that a person did and how it affected the result.

Hyper-, that is, a supernant - assigning obligations to respond to the fact that outside human capabilities.

Example. It is impossible to respond with full seriousness for the mood of another person, his thoughts, his beliefs. All this person chooses himself. It is impossible to fully control the actions of the other - even if it is a small child, and even more so if it is an adult.

• Alcoholic chooses to drink.
• Dependent from love himself chooses to suffer differently, emotionally depended not from himself, but from actions and even words of her beloved.

Where did the legs grow from hyperships?

Not only every adult man should take commitment, but also a child. For example, the criminal liability of the child in the Republic of Belarus comes from the age of 16 (at the time of the crime). But often instead of the usual "answer for your words!" Hyperfestness is formed. The most frequent options:

• the person emotionally "serves" the other, i.e. cares about the health, the mood of the close;
• the child processes ("containing", withstands) feelings and experiences of the parent;
• from responsibility for the state / mood of another life depends, health, well-being.

Hypercability in children is occurring more often where they either nominate exorbitant requirements (not by age), they are responsible for the state of the parent ("you will go for a walk, and my heart will break up"), either thrown. The second option is also bad, despite the independence of the child. After all, instead of relying on parents, adults, they are forced to stop themselves, "put the borders themselves.

In fact, children become small adults.

The main cause of hyperships is not understanding of their borders. Where am I, where mine, where the other person and its border begins. What actions (whose) have caused such consequences. And to urge the borders "help" such feelings like:

• fear (the consequences of terrible, you need to do everything to avoid a terrible event);
• wines (especially toxic, excessive, "all because of me");
• anxiety (ignorance of the future generates attempts to control it).

Test for hypertensity

If you suspect hypership syndrome, do not hurry to make hasty conclusions. Test yourself. Answer simple questions:

1. Are you often loaded in a mass of different cases?
2. Do you have time for yourself?
3. Will you take care of new tasks?
4. Do you know the feeling that you constantly have something to someone?
5. Experience and complexity of loved ones for you - in the first place?
6. You tend to control the actions of others, as if without you, nothing happens?
7. You are annoyed by people who do not control what is happening, it seems to you that they are irresponsible?
8. You can not say "no": native, close, bosses, as if it is forbidden or everything will collapse without your participation?

Even half of the answers "Yes" is enough to understand: you are a hyperial person. You have to blame yourself in slip, control the actions of others and suffer from excessive load.

A bunch of emotional forces can be saved, if not included in the "game in the Atlanta that supports the sky." Believe me, the world will not collapse without you!

How to get rid of hyperships in 3 reception

If you have noticed hyperstility, looking for how to get rid of this syndrome, remember only three steps. This is a division of responsibility (boundaries), recognition that another person is a personality, and raising the value of what you do. By and large, everyone is enough to stop being a "good boy" or "good girl", recognize yourself - the center, but his universe.

Having recognized your hyperships, disperse how to deal with it correctly.

Step 1. Take a pause if you are "planted on a horse", bred on emotions. Most likely, you are manipulated with a simple goal - you will be answered.

Step 2. Recognize other right to act in your own ways. That is, the control you will not achieve safe and predictable behavior. You can only share: You will do it like this, because it is important to me. And I will do something else, important for you. Mutual interest is better than control, from which others remain like to slip away. Important: If you are a relationship with an alcoholic, addict, i.e. A man is unreliable, you will have to strongly divide the boundaries in order not to be involved in control and custody.

Step 3. Adequate self-esteem is the key to happiness. If you know what you can and do not know how to worker, you will not be able to "dilute" for excessive responsibility. If you know what is valuable as a woman / man, you will not work to manipulate a "slightly - then I love", "do as I said (a)", "Which of you is a man", "you are a tender".

Hypercable people - "good girls" and "good boys"

If you carefully read about the causes of hyperships, you noticed that the child was inspired "you are bad", "you are responsible for everything - and you can't get." Either they threw them at all without giving it the so-called feedback. Such a person grows - and long proves that he is good. He (or she) go to the relationship - to tell them about it. They are so arranged to work - so that they are recognized as good, important, valuable.

And as it came out, do not get it.

For one simple reason. At work, people work, but increase self-esteem and are approved in their own goodness in the third place. Rarely, who praises its employees for the task. For this, it is believed to have a salary. In relations, people with each other, by and large, play, interest each other, worry. And a good person will make something - and is waiting for the right response to him. In psychology, hypertensity is considered as "responsibility not for themselves", i.e. A good boy or a good girl is waiting for them to do something (right) to get (from the deputy parent) correct feedback.

So forms responsibility for the state, mood, beliefs of another person. And this does not lead to the desired result.

• Either the second (employer, partner) is not interesting.
• Either he is on his hand - and he begins to manipulate.

Both options for hyperial - losses.

He should dance his self-esteem (no wonder she "itself") from other people and begin to evaluate oneself a) is adequate, not so tough, b) himself, and not on the basis of the mood and state of the other.

It helps to get out of the dependent relationship in time, stop controlling children, relatives, respond to the whole world, and, honestly, damn from this.

I am writing to you as a former hyperial person.

And wish your normal, healthy responsibility only helped strengthen personality.

Among your friends, there are probably such: with semi-handed shoulders, eternally burned back and guilty facial expression. So it seems that they have a heavy invisible backpack in the back of them, the muscle tightening is so much that even a smile is crying. This is understandable! If you look into the backpack, what will not be found there: responsibility for work, country, natural cataclysms, oil prices. When you pull the whole universe, inevitably connect somewhere. And seriously?

We are always responsible for yourself, because no one will take responsibility for you.
Tyra Banks

Causes of hypertension

Is it bad to be a person responsible for his actions and words? On the contrary, wonderful. Responsibility is an indicator of true, not passport adulthood. It is necessary - it means that you need! Said - executed. These people make up the Gold Foundation of an indispensable professionals and inspired family mans.

Working with such a person calmly and reliably: always and everything will make it on time, and another shoulder will substitute. It does not better attain an extra hour, but the native workshop will not let! Family life of a man with an exacerbid sense of responsibility will not clearly turn into a landfill: conscience suffers! Potatoes will bring from the market in two hands, so that their relatives do not count up. I will not go with friends to nature, although I was going to sit with the son of a cousin, sit down with the son of a cousin. And if this abstract person is also distinguished by great patience and balanced temper - one pleasure surrounding from it!

You can not worry about the outcome of the case at all! Everything will be at the height. Because a hyperspical comrade and for itself, and for that guy will work out. But is it easy for him?

Does your own burden?

Who does not know the Russian proverb "His Nosha does not pull", which is analogue in other languages. In the burden, pulling shoulders and slowing down, is unlikely to eat a lot of positive. But if you carry it, because it is yours, you need or your loved ones, like air, like sunlight, like breathing, the burden automatically becomes weightless. And it becomes joyful, bye. And if it is not good and hard, maybe you got excited and wrapped around what you do not belong, and even too much?

Where are the boundaries of responsibility?

Trying to live for others their life - the matter is ungrateful and useless. You will not be able to raise from the sofa and find a highly paid job to your Great Spring, if all of its television traffic is limited to the lazy switching of the TV channels. You are inspired by an anxiety for an adult daughter, who meets with a married man, but it seems, everything suits her.

Yes, it hurts and hurt, but this is her life. You understand that a husband with his talents was clearly to receive the position of the head of the department, but it happened otherwise, and he does not protest. And what can you change? At best, make a scandal, and then not to the boss. Yes, parents are aging, and the feeling of guilt for what has been said and unknown is stipulated by a barbed scarf so that it is impossible to just fall asleep.

Maybe these night vigils will somehow reduce the alarm? Hardly! But the insomnia earn twice two. And weather on the eve of the weekend so unexpectedly spoiled plans, so everyone goes frowning. But you also misunderstood? Why do you think you should take on the role of a home clown?

Right from childhood: a child's hyperstility

Where did this depleting desire come from being responsible for the fact that "the sun is boiling and coming?" Everyone is different. But I will not be mistaken if I say that it is usually still in childhood, heated by ambitious desires of parents, the child sought to be correct and responsible, performing everything "from and to".

Someone family circumstances took a heavy burden to be a parent for his infantile dads and mothers. So I had to have a young badgesthage to nicely "kids", exhort, listen, sorry and grow oldly by year. Yes, if there were no simple life stories? Yes, only childhood passed, and the need to drag on himself the Universe from the last strength remained.

Consequences: What is dangerous hyperspicness?

It seems that hyperial people are ready to solve all the problems, except for those directly for which it is necessary to take into the first, and in the second place too.

These are situations and problems of their own life associated with health, professional and personal development, mood and self-reposition. Refusal to implement its interests and needs is a spiritual desertion that will definitely give yourself a felt treacherous ailments and a feeling of internal emptiness. One morning, looking in the mirror, you can simply see the tired look of an unfamiliar person. And you have nothing to say.

Hard but important step

It is necessary to understand that you have to experience difficulties from time to time, problems and even the desire to "send everything to hell" is normal. Not enough so much straws to protect our dear people from trouble. Yes, and we are only people: ordinary mortals with a limited reserve of time stay on earth. We do not have the gift of foresight. And even if he were, another person has the right to act in his own way just because he is different. The choice of loved ones can surprise, upset and even shock. But we must admit: they have the right to this.

Treatment, or how to get rid of hyperships

When we take the responsibility for other people, we assume that they are not smart enough, experienced to solve their problem. But this can only be in one case: if a person is not fully capable due to its young or elderly age, as well as because of some ailments. If not, pass responsibility for your life to their owners.

Do not cultivate the pride, which is whispering you about omnipotence. Just open your heavy bag and start handing out what you never belonged to you. Yes, there will be a storm of perturbation, offense and complaints. You will be accused of egoism and indifference. But you know exactly what to help a person is responsible for his actions and even thoughts are love. By the way, it applies first.

Responsibility - This is the form of control over the human activity, which he performs himself according to the norms adopted by him and the rules of conduct. Society forces a person to be responsible for the consequences of solutions taken by him. The degree of responsibility, accountability and measure of punishment are determined by public institutions, the state. For each person, moral, legal, economic responsibility is entrusted, and failure to comply with the relevant laws and norms entails punishment. Subjective adoption or non-acceptance, knowledge or ignorance, for example, legal laws or rules of behavior in society, do not exempt a person from responsibility. Threatening with the punishment, society is always ready to attract a violator to justice, and this threat makes people produce internal forms of control of their activities. This is responsible. In the end, it becomes a feature line, and is formed in the process of interiorization, i.e., adoption as its social values, norms and rules. Responsibility involves the awareness of its actions and their consequences. The degree of awareness of the decisions and the degree of control over the consequences in the implementation of these decisions may be different. You can allocate:

High level of responsibility - Responsibility is a personality feature, all decisions are related to the internal structure of values, there is a sense of responsibility for the decisions made, the actions and consequences of these activities.

Medium level of responsibility - Essentially, the same, but there is only aware of the immediate consequences of the actions taken, there is no sense of responsibility for the strategy of behavior in life.

Low level of responsibility - Manifested in situational self-control over the activities. Acceptance of responsibility, awareness of the consequences in certain matters of life is not a personality line, but a responsible attitude arising in individual acts. It can be unstable, temporary dependent on mood and circumstances.

Irresponsibility - may have two manifestations: either a person has no formed internal value system, carrying out control and regulation of activities, or the internal rules are very hard for humans, and the norms and values \u200b\u200bare very high, he does not feel or does not consider himself able to make decisions, take responsibility for possible The consequences, because in case of failure, the punishment of himself will be overly strict. In this case, he is formed the fear of responsibility.

The psychological structure of responsibility includes three components: rational, emotional and volitional. The awareness of the personality of social needs and the refraction of them in the structure of the inner world can be carried out at the level of knowledge, feelings, beliefs and actions.

A person can consider himself responsible, feel responsible and act from the position of the responsible person. Rational-volitional components are most clearly characterized by such states as insight and dedication. Naturally, the act of adoption of a responsible decision may be accompanied by the most diverse range of emotional states: concern, tensions, concern, excitement, anxiety, focus, doubt, etc. Communication between activities, i.e., the act of adopting a responsible decision, and emotions are mutual: On the one hand, the course and outcome of human activity usually cause certain feelings, on the other, - sense of a person, its emotional states affect its activities.

Each person may be in a situation where his actions and deeds may harm, offend others. This may occur through ignorance, if a person has enough information about the situation or people, his surrounding. Subjective liability experience may be different. If a person did not know, he was not responsible for the consequences of the perfect action, but with the acquisition of knowledge about the consequences of his actions, a person or takes responsibility, or refuses her, which indicates the degree of development of his sense of responsibility. Subjective experience of the sense of responsibility may occur only when there is awareness of its actions and possible consequences.

There is a "scale" of the volume of responsibility: the feeling or acceptance of responsibility is only for itself, for itself and loved ones, for themselves and others, for everything in response. A person who considers himself responsible for himself is trying to influence the life events that concern only his life. These people look independent, they do not ask the councils, but also do not try to remake others, determine their actions. However, the majority considers themselves responsible not only for themselves, but also for close-members of their family, especially children. Parents believe that they are obliged to teach their children even when they have grown. A marital relationship, in turn, can also be determined by the measure of responsibility that each of the partners is carrying. A person who is afraid to take responsibility for himself, to independently make decisions, looking for a partner who is ready to fulfill this duty instead. The combination of partners will be unsuccessful, one of which seeks to be independent, has its own value system, and the other considers himself responsible for making decisions and determining the partner's life path, based on its system of norms and rules. However, there are opportunities for the interaction of partners when they do not impose each other their values, and at the same time remain responsible for each other. This is achieved in the process of empathic communication with another person, when you temporarily live the life of another, leaving aside your point of view, values, your "I". The empacitation method of communication, according to K. Rogers, is characterized as follows:

entry into the personal world of another and stay in it as at home;

constant sensitivity to the changing experiences of another;

capturing the fact that the other himself barely realizes, without attempting to open completely unconscious feelings, as they may be injured;

message your impressions about the inner world of the other;

a calm look at those elements that worry or frighten your interlocutor.

Allowing a close person to make decisions, without imposing his judgments and evaluations, helping him to realize the experiences, you can feel responsible for him and allow him to be responsible for you.

From the point of view of responsibility, you can set two types of personality - mature and infantile. Researchers allocate the following psychological characteristics of a mature personality: A developed sense of responsibility, the need for concern about other people, the ability to actively participate in society and the effective use of their knowledge and abilities, psychological proximity to another person, a constructive solution of various vital problems on the path to the most complete self-realization. From the subjective side, the responsibility is an indicator of individual freedom, independence, Allowing to remain individual when interacting with other people. Infantility Determined by preservation in the psyche and the behavior of the adult features inherent in childhood. This is expressed in the disconciliation of decisions and actions, a sense of insecurity, reduced criticality in relation to itself, increased demands for the care of others about themselves, etc. Infantile personality or does not know or does not try to assume the consequences of his actions, or justifies itself to circumstances trying to A to avoid responsibility that coincides with the punishment.

Various ways of avoiding responsibility are possible. For example, analyzing the behavior of a person in a crowd, many researchers note that the more people focused in one place, the weaker in each of them a sense of responsibility is manifested. Due to the number, the consciousness of force majeure and at the same time anonymity, the crowd establishes its laws - the laws of chaos and the elements (the crowd replaces society at this moment, the state), and the person easily loses its former responsibility. Avoid self-decisions, and therefore, a sense of responsibility for it can, expressing consent to the decision of the group, family.

Often the execution of the order, the claims of the head, its professional or civil duties occurs at the level of automated actions. These actions are not considered their own, they are not controlled from the point of view of internal values, therefore, a person does not calculate the possible consequences of the actions taken, does not care about the outcome of the case. E. Fromm introduced into the psychology the concept of "automatic conformism". This is a mechanism with which a person ceases to be himself, fully absorbs the type of person, which is offered by the cultural models, and completely becomes such as others, and how they expect him to see it. A person who destroyed his individual "I" and became a machine, does not experience more lonely fear and powerlessness. Subjective liability experience disappears, since everyone else does not differ from it. Responsible for everything becomes a society that has made a person as it is.

Responsibility differs from the duty of the degree of internal awareness. The obligation affects the element of external forced strength. Responsibility can be considered as a special case of debt manifestation, the specificization of its requirements.

The person's responsibility can be judged only by its manifestations in activities, actions, attitudes towards people, although specific socio-psychological studies have shown that there is direct compliance between the external observed behavior and value installations. Thus, the fulfillment of social norms can talk a little about responsibility.

The structure of responsibility as a person's quality includes:

awareness of the need to act in accordance with the social requirements and norms as social values;

awareness of its social value and a public role;

foresight of the consequences of choice, decisions, actions;

criticality and constant control over their actions, accounting for their consequences for other people;

the desire for self-effectiveness, the implementation of itself in the objective world;

self-defense and self-assessment;

readiness to respond for their actions;

socially responsible activities.

Here are admitted, it happens like this: you go, everything does not develop, you think everything does not work, no damn will change, but if you change, then only for the worst. Because life is Tlen, and all that. And why am I so bad, sometimes you think.

Why there - sometimes, constantly think so. Do not remember already when I felt calm and happy. When enjoyed the moment. Because constantly in races, always be careful, you often expect trick and trouble. You think, now I will certainly get something from behind the corner, I will fall asleep with all my body, just hold on. Be sure to happen, you think and squat from waiting. It can not be that everything is fine. Just this can not be. Something will happen. You constantly live in a state "something should happen."

Familiar mood? Do not even tell, do not explain and do not justify, because I know that a familiar mood. Moreover, it is your permanent mood and condition. You know why I know? Because for a long time lived with him. And now I do not live.

Now I am with him, with this alarming state, divorced. We categorically divorced, did not even divided the property, I just put it out of the door. Without things and suitcases. And it, this state, was offended by me, said that he would never talk to me anymore, he did not want to see me, turned and left. It is not known where. And I was not his place invited another partner. Now I am happily live in other respects. Do you know with whom? With a sense of responsibility.

Now I am happily live in other respects. Do you know with whom? With a sense of responsibility.

Why it is so important to get a sense of responsibility

The sense of responsibility is, that makes us happy, calm and confident. I very calmed down when I was responsible for my life. When I realized that no one was to blame for my failures. Only me. When I fucked forever for myself: my victories, successes and failures depend on me. No one is responsible for my life. Here the genes have nothing to do with nothing with what is all me. And Hasha, I exhaled. I calmed down, stopped worrying, thinking about tomorrow's day with caution. Because I had faith in my senses. I understood: tomorrow it can happen anything, but I will cope, I mobilize, I will find a solution. Because it is my life. Because no external factors make me unhappy. And I myself make myself happy. And this is an excellent feeling. Feeling responsibility is a sign of adulthood, consistency and maturity. Please acquire them. It will help you.

I understood: tomorrow it can happen anything, but I will handle it. Because it is my life. Because no external factors make me unhappy. And I myself make myself happy.

I know what will make you calm, and your life is conscious

See what is the power of responsibility:

1. You yourself know your strengths and weaknesses.

You with you on "you". You know what you can give slack. And what, on the contrary, it may be raised. You do not hope for someone. You only count on your strength. And so you are always calm. You will make less unjustified nonsense. Because you know that you can't lose the feeling of guilt for someone. Only you are responsible for your life and your actions.

2. Do you recognize yourself

Finally, you will have a reason to stop, not to run anywhere, sit down, close your eyes and dive into yourself. Finally, you will get acquainted with you real. You will know how to calm yourself how to cheer yourself if you need. You will get acquainted with you, damn it. And you will surprise yourself yourself, you can not doubt.

3. You won't give empty promises

First of all myself. You will throw far away from these lists of cases that no one ever performs. You will be honest with you. You learn to do only what you really need, and what brings you joy. And everything else - until better times. You will cease to make promises to others. Because suddenly you will understand that you grew up that adult is already to deceive that you do not go stupid excuses. What a business and intelligent girl decorates commitment. And if you can't hold back the word, you will not give it. This awareness comes to your house along with a sense of responsibility.

4. You will learn to make decisions

Finally, you won't look around on others when you need to take some decision. You will take your life in your hands. Yes, I want it, you say you herself. And calm down. Because you will not need to deceive and pretend. Because you wanted it myself. Finally, you will begin to live your life and enjoy it.

5. Hobbies will appear

And it is very important. As soon as you stop shifting on someone, you guilt and live your life as soon as you pay attention to yourself, you will have your own hobbies. In which you dive with your head. And not because all your friends are fond of this, not because it is fashionable, useful and important. And because (attention!) You yourself want it. Your life will be rich and interesting as soon as you understand that only you are responsible for our actions, words and thoughts.

6. You will learn to live consciously

Finally you will understand what is a conscious life. And you will not understand the books, you will not hear at the lecture, but you will understand it myself. Because, before you take a step, you will stop and think: do you need it. Maybe you will easily cost without this shaker and a new belt? Do you need this wallet, because you have three hundred and fifty similar models at home.

7. You will learn to say "no"

And this is a very important skill. Sometimes it is more important than the ability to say "yes" :) You are silent your borders. And you will understand that it is not yours. You are not ready to sacrifice your time, spend the strength and your knowledge of what you do not need. You will also use other people's resources. Very consciously and thoughtfully. Because you will go through it yourself.

8. You will learn to respect yourself

You will search questions about answers in yourself. You and only you will be our teacher. You will not wait for the Council from others. Because herself will learn to deal with their problems. You will not be confused. Because your solution will be final. Because you will understand that you took it. And what can you make a mistake. It's normally wrong. And then draw conclusions.

When you learn to be responsible for your life, then you will have the most important thing - a sense of self-esteem.

You will cease to blame others in your failures. You will not seem justification. You will stop worrying. Because you will understand that everything that neither will do is just your decision. And you can and have the right to control it. In your life there will be no more "Something went wrong." Because you will understand that there are no defeats and mistakes. Of all, from everything that you happen, you will do a lesson. And it was not an error, but an opportunity for growth and changes.

I do not know what else to tell you so that you finally become an adult and took responsibility for yourself. Believe, sooner or later you will grow to it. And then calmness will come to your life.