Life in a golden cage.

Abundance, laziness and creature. Nude girls by the pool, dancing belly dance, entertaining their own lord ... This associative series develops from Europeans with the word harem. However, reality looks different ...

The name "Harem" comes from the Arabic word "Harim" - separated, prohibited. It is a closed and guarded residential part of the palace or at home, in which the wives of a high-ranking eastern statesman lived. Women, as a rule, were under the supervision of the first wife or Enev. The first wife had the right to divide the title of the owner of the Harem.

The head of the Sultan Garend was the mother of Padishah, "Valida Sultan", she took away for the son of all women. It was not difficult to get into the harem, but it was possible to get recognition there and really swim in luxury was only a little.

Officially, the future depended on beauty and talent, but it was only the visible side of the question. In fact, everything depended on tricks and thoughtfulness. Only the smartest became the first wives of Sultan, and his vassals, sought high positions in the harem.

The rest lived there to a deep old age, immersed in domestic affairs, serving the entire harem. Sometimes these women have never even seen her husband near. This is not wonderful, because in those distant times in the harem contained several thousand women.

Cruelty of harem life

In the harem, as in some kind of state, there were their tough laws and hierarchies. So, in the Turkish harem, Sultan could carry on a new beautiful concubine at any time and make it a legitimate wife, and then he ordered to execute the old wives to execute, in order not to keep him ...

The methods of destruction were not the simplest: a boning wife, or a concubine, lived in a leather bag, threw there with a wild cat or a poisonous snake, tied a bag, and on a special stone groove descended with a tied stone in Bosphor's water. The guilty worshiped for happiness, if they knew in advance that they would simply quickly remove with a silk shoe. "

History Harame

The first written mentions of the harem relate to the 15th century and talk about the way of hamem in the Ottoman Empire.

At first, only the slave contained in the harem, and in his wife they took the daughters of Christian rulers from neighboring countries. This tradition has changed after Bayazid II (1481-1512), when the sultans began to elect the harem in the habituals.

When Sultan Mehmed II Conqueror (1451-1481) took Konstantinople in 1453, he decorated the city with excellent buildings. At the current square of Bayazid, he built a palace on the pattern of palaces that existed in the former capitals of Bursa and Edirne.

With this palace, for some time used, but soon he became small, and in 1472-1478. The extensive Palace of Topkappa was built, which over time turned into a giant complex of buildings. The state affairs were solved here, and here Sultan appeared before the subjects, when he was marching into a mosque.

The old palace was used as a harem, but Sultan Suleiman magnificent (1520-1566) organized the Sarah Duchteran ("Palace of Women") in his new residence.

In 1587, during the reign of Murad III (1574-1595), Harem was completely moved to the Topkapi Palace. Unfortunately, the Harem building burned down during a fire of 1665, then it was again restored, but the Istanbul earthquake of 1776 finally destroyed this unique architectural structure.

Harem was rebuilt anew and existed up to Mahmoud II (1808-1839). Later, Garem lost its former charm, without preparing competition with the palaces (the so-called "beautiful villas") on the Bosphorus.

Hierarchy in Harem.

Of course, the sultans themselves were the main people. After them followed the rank of Valida (the mother of Sultan). When her son came to the throne, Valida, accompanied by a magnificent procession, moved from the old palace to the new and settled in special chambers. Following Valid, Kadyn Efendi was Sultan's wife.

Without a doubt, the most colorful inhabitants of Harem were Jaria (slave). In addition, a special class of ministers was formed - Harem Agalary (eunuhi) responsible for security. Dar-US-Saead Agasy (Hearem's Security Head) ranked third after Sadrazama (Great Vizier) and Sheikh-Ul-Islam (Head of the Islamic Hierarchy).

Slave

Caucasian princes sent their daughters to Ottoman Harem in the hope that they would become chief Church. They even killed them lullaby: "You will become a wife of Sultan and you will be covered with diamonds." Slave bought aged 5-7 years and brought up full physical development.

As they grow up, they were taught music, etiquette, art to deliver a man's enjoyment. In adolescence, the girl was pre-showed in the palace. If it has found physical defects, bad manners or some more shortcomings, the price fell on it, and her father received less money than expected.

Parents of girls were supposed to sign documents showing that they sold their daughter and no longer have any rights on it.

Slaves, whom Sultan could most likely choose as his wives, had to study very carefully. An Islam who studied to read the Quran, committed prayers together or separately.

Having received the status of his wife, they built mosques and founded charity institutions, as they provided for Muslim traditions. The preserved letters of Sultan wives testify to their broad knowledge.

Together with all the difficulties, the slaves received daily monetasions, the amount of which was changed at each new Sultan. They were given money and gifts on the occasion of weddings, festivities and birthdays. The slaves were well taken care of, but Sultan strictly punished those of them who retreated from the established rules.

After nine years, the slave in disadvantaged Sultan had the right to leave the harem. Sultan gave her a dowry, the house and helped find her husband. The slave received a signed by the Sultan document confirming its status of a free person. It is known that some voluptuous concubines made love with each other or with eunuchs, despite the fact that those were neutered.

Enev has had many similar adventures. Some of the slaves, having received freedom and coming out married, after some time they divorced with their husbands, justifies this: "I used to get more pleasure from communicating with black servants" ...

Eunuchi

All Enuns brought from African countries, that is, they were blacks. And this was the simple calculation of Sultan. It was so easy to find a winning woman - if children appeared from sinful behavior with Enun, they were black. But it was a big rarity, because all the eunuchs, as mentioned above, were neutered.

Grozny Roxalana

Due to the subtleties of politics until the 16th century, only Russian, Ukrainian, Georgian, Croatian girls could be found in the harem. Orhan-Gazi, ruled in the fifteenth century, married the daughter of Emperor Konstantin - Princess Carolina, Sultan Bayazit took one of the Byzantine princesses. But the most famous wife of Padishah in the entire history of Harem was the Hyrem Sultan - Ukrainian Roksolana. She was forty years old was the wife of Suleiman magnificent.

The daughter of the Ukrainian priest Gavrila Lisovsky Nastya Crimean Tatars kidnapped during one of the raids, on the eve of her own wedding. The Tatars defeated by her beauty sent the girl to Istanbul, one of the largest nonworking markets of the Muslim East.

After hitting the palace, Nastya learned to speak Turkish, accepted Islam. In the palace she was given a new name Roksolana. Padishah was young, appreciated female beauty. The tricky Ukrainian sorted a mad passion in Sultan and swore that he would be a legitimate wife of Padishah. By intrigue, skilled seduction, bribe the eunuham and the swarm promises Roxalana achieved his own.

Becoming the wife of Padishah, seeking to strengthen his position, she gave birth to Sultan Suleyman three sons. According to the laws of faith, Padishah could have four legitimate wives. Children from the first wife became heirs of the throne. He held the throne of the firstborn, the rest of the applicants for power were destroyed.

The children of Padishah from the first wife, of course, became fatal enemies of Roksolan, who secretly informed the Lord about the "terrible plot." Suleiman gave an order to kill his children from the first wife.

Later, Roksolana poisoned his mother-in-law, which was unhappy with the Ukrainian daughter-in-law, and also ordered to find all other sons of Suleiman throughout the country, which then secretly deprived life. "

Modern harem

The last harem was closed in 1909, after renunciation from the throne Abdul-Hamid second. Sultan expelled from the Topkapi Palace, which turned into a museum.

There are no more harem in modern Turkey. However, add, smiling, Turks, only according to official data. In the countryside in the south-east of the country, there is a polygamy.

The owners of modern haremov are rich people: owners of carpet workshops, successful farmers, host factories that can adequately contain several wives: to feed everyone, dress, shore and give a roof over your head.

Girls are still issued to marry forcibly. Throwing the dolls, hastily tangled by the National Turkish scarf - a symbol of a married woman, twelve-year-old girls go to the house to the elderly husband.

Many little girls were given so early married because of poverty and many children in the family, not the possibility of feeding ...

Today, despite the pressure of the West, Islam, as before, allows polygamy.

In many Arab countries, it is officially allowed to have up to 4 wives. But not every man will be able to "pull" such a family. After all, all wives need to provide equal conditions, apartments, cars, contain children, again ...

So, one of the relatively favorable countries for living in the harem is the Arab Emirates. There are strict laws regarding the financial content of their wives and their children. However, not all so simple.

Along with luxury, a woman there is very hard to achieve at least some respect for himself, she, as well as many centuries ago, remains the "silent shadow of her husband."

Inside the family, laws are valid and incomprehensible to the European world. Laws: violence, for granting a wife - the death penalty, for resistance to the will of the husband Divorce, and blackmail - children (children takes, as a rule, a husband, without the right to see her mother) and much more ...

As they say: "East is a delicate matter" ... We, European, probably never understand it!

At first glance, it seems that the life of the Duchess of Cambridge looks like a fairy tale: she is married to the prince, lives in the palace, shines at the receptions in designer outfits and family jewels. However, this beautiful life has the reverse side - Kate has to be unquestioned to follow the royal protocol and refuse many, it would seem innocuous things. In order not to get into disfavor of Elizabeth II, his grandson's wife, Prince William, is obliged to carefully follow his image and behavior in public ..

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You can not hand out autographs

Despite the fact that Kate Middleton is not at all against informal communication with fans, you are unlikely to see how she signs photographs or postcards to strangers. The fact is that it can put his signature only on official documents.

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Many seems to be members of the Royal Family of the UK can afford everything that only wishes. However, the reality is infinitely far from this illusion: the monarch of the Operations, like no other, honor century-old traditions and, frankly, outdated rules. Even the next relatives of the Great British government are not allowed to violate the minutes of the Royal Court, which, as is known, is distinguished by principle and extremely rarely goes on concessions.

The strict rules had to get used to the wife of Prince William, Kate Middleton. The girl rose in a very secured, but not at all an aristocratic family, so after the engagement with the heir to the English crown in October 2010 she had to go through the real "Princess School". An expert on etiquette before the wedding explained Catherine all the subtleties of her future position. Freedom-loving Middleton had once and forever get used to the fact that, becoming part of the royal family, she would never be able to engage in only what she would like, and put on those outfits that she liked.

What can you just do for love and position in society: Catherine quickly learned the rules and resigned with the conservative views of the influential relatives of her husband. As it turned out, the Royal Protocol implies many prohibitions. And this applies not only to the too open or, on the contrary, informal clothing, but also other vital aspects.

Recently, Western journalists drew attention to the fact that the Duchess Cambridge for all six years old marriage with Prince William. As it turned out, the Queen of Elizabeth II insists on the use of nude shades. The monarchine itself, for example, since 1989, is faithful to the same gentle color of nail polish.

Kate Middleton never paints nails with bright varnish because of the Rules of the Royal Dress Code

In addition to beauty and feashed prohibitions, there are still many rules of behavior to which Kate had to get used to over the years. For example, during dinner with the queen, no one can continue to eat if she completed meals. Those who are medleet are consistently overlooking the table with a noble feeling of hunger.

Every woman who loving money and rich life seems to be that the "Golden Cell" is happiness. But what is the "Golden Cage"? This is a cell for a bird that is fed and shed, and not release free. Can there be happiness in a cage?

Little girls always dream to go out for a rich prince and live happily. But in a few years, coming out married such a man, they often have to forgot about their own freedom. Of course, it is not always that way, but still examples from the surrounding life often prove that it is.

Maybe, not every woman who lives in the Golden Cage, confessed in his somewhat different life. Each knows that her husband is constantly busy, earns, and she must wait for him, to be a housewife, live according to his rules. But if you constantly do not see a husband, do not know what he is doing, be deprived of love, fenced from friends and girlfriends, but to do only with household matters, then what is the happiness of life with a rich husband?

There is such a proverb - "Golden Cell - Solovyv not fun." Even comparing itself with this bird, it can be understood that you would not "sing" in captivity. Every woman needs attention, and not just from a man, but from his beloved man, freedom, but the one she herself wants. Otherwise, it drupt and only then will understand that not in the money happiness ...

"It would be better not to drink expensive wine for lunch, but I got love, affection, care and understanding." There are examples when wives of successful men are doing homemade and do not work. On the one hand, it may seem like women fairy tale, sweet life. Sit yourself at home, watch TV, swim in, play with. But is it just necessary to modern woman?

Very often there are such revelations in magazines and on the forums: "I say he that I need communication, girlfriend, that I live, like in a cage, and he answers me:" In a cage, but in golden. " It's unbearable. I would leave him, but where will I find a job now? I'm not worried about myself, but for my son. " So women turn out to be in the Western.

The typical master of the Golden Cell, as a rule, successful, always considers itself the owner of his life and family. Meeting in life such a man, a woman may not notice his bad qualities, the fact that he is rough, a cruel or greedy man. Wealth, as it were, "covers" her eyes. He can only like it, but the woman takes this feeling for love, sees a successful "party" in a new acquaintance. She has eyes close to all his negative acts and errors. She may also not notice that he is inattentive or coarse with others. Only when she marries him, eventually begin to understand all the delights of the Golden Cell, that she is just desirable "bird" that everything that she seemed to be a mirage, which she herself wanted to see.

The husband will dictate its living conditions, in particular what the wife should sit at home and have nothing against it. Maybe he will be worse to treat it, but it's not about it. Even if love has passed, then you can divorce. But is it easy to divorce a rich man? If she gave him half of life and did not work, did not have time to get an education, how to be now? Go to work on a low-paid job? Go to a lower standard of living? And if they still have children, then the husband may not give them. WHEN will have to endure humiliation only in order to raise children and be with them nearby. The role of his wife goes to the latest plan, and the first one remains the mother of children, housekeeper or experts in. It is clear that there was no speech about any love about any love. The thought will appear that there is no happiness in the "Golden Cage", especially without love.

On the one hand, all this seems funny and ridiculous, because each thinks: "How can this happen to me? I am beautiful! " But the point is not in and charm, the matter is in real love, there is love - there is happiness. No need to chase mad money and great welfare. You need to look at a person and his soul. If a person is good, he will never be offended. And even if it is not rich, the joint efforts can succeed. And it's not even in wealth, it's only in the Golden Cage.

Life in a golden cage is a wife of a rich husband.

Once, in the past life, I absolutely did not perceive seriously the stories about the difficulties and problems of wives of rich husbands, about life in a golden cage. And, ironically, received them - a whole "bouquet" ...

Now I often remember half-talk conversations with a better girlfriend, a neighbor on the part of Zhenka. "I do not know at all what I do! - She grabbed the head before the final exams. - Sciences are not given, I do not know how to do anything ... "

I confidently answered her: the best profession for you - go out for a millionaire! In addition, Zhenka put forward a complete package of counter arodes: And if he gets greedy, it will get over his golden - and give a penny on the studs? And if he, using the position of the "main thing," will begin to catch me? And if it will be unpleasant to him with him, Mm? ..

"Well, you are strange, aunt! - I sincerely wondered. - I do not drive you for any nasty Gobsek! It is necessary to find such that love is - and supported by capital, here! " Life in a golden cage is a wife of a rich husband.

Zhenka, as it turned out, underestimated his personal opportunities. She famously learned English, won the "Green Map" - and now she has its own souvenir shop on some kind of Street ... And I? I married a millionaire for the fifth year.

Life in a golden cage - wife of a rich husband

Joint delusion

Our meeting was funny and a little ridiculous - because too similar to the taste of some American romantic comedy. Once I later returned home from the guests - and managed to get lost in an unfamiliar area.

And then I even had no mobile phone yet. Around completely empty. And I see: some great jeep with tinted glasses be chases me, flashes, flashes. I am from him by sidewalks, in the flowers ... Finally, the man who jumped out of the car grabbed me by the shoulders and ... handed me the documents. "Do not go crazy," he shook me, "I'm not a maniac."

I regulate on this damn area for an hour, all the houses are the same here as in a nightmare. And the navigator seems to be buggy. The road can no longer ask? " Then he had to leave me for a long time to disappear by my mineral water: I laughed and could not stop ...

Honestly, I still so really did not understand what a novel is doing specifically. And then all the more. I do not understand anything in real estate operations and not a great concern from the holding. I'm more interested in living. At least organic.

In the specialty I am a biochemist. "This is probably a very dangerous thing," he sympathized with a new acquaintance, while we were killed in the "Maze" together, especially for such a pretty girl! "

I nodded and smiled sleeping, swimming in the waves of jazz from the stereo system ... In the cabin there smelled some kind of life. It seemed to me that this is - that's all this crushes like Cindascano ballogeon from the battle of the clock. But when we got out and my "Fay" took me home, he firmly stated to the farewell: "Our wonderful salvation should be noted!" And handed the business card.

I decided on the opposite gesture and scratched my home phone with a ballpoint pen on a sheet from notepad. At the time of our meetings (he did not ask, he claimed: "We donate there!", "I will show you an amazing place!") I could not understand why he would not be wrapped around in search of young ladies.

Over time, it seems that came. The young lady was abuse, I just was, almost the only person he was not afraid. That is, it was not afraid of a trick, Caverza, "Substairs". I spoke little, was a grateful listener and he was happy sincerely. It never occurred to me that the "prince" can make me an offer. Most likely, so he did it ...

Life in the Golden Cage in the Stages of Relations

I waited for his calls with a beating heart - and did not doubt that it was love. The novel was always affectionate and attentive - and I had strengthened in the thoughts that the heart sense of restrained business men was exactly.

He himself decided everything, directing me there, where I thought it was necessary - and I sailed according to the flow given to them. He said to himself that would oppose if I wanted. And so, since the resistance does not occur - it means everything goes as it should!

Moreover, how gradually my own attitude towards it was gradually changed, I noticed only postfactum. At first, I was in orphanage proud that I was not interested in such a steep gentleman. So it can rejoice at the fisherman, who was given a fishing rod - and he immediately pulled out his pudding pike.

But by the time when Roman gave me a ring of white gold with the inflorescence of small diamonds (that is, this proposal was also not a question of "yes" or "no", but by approval of the fact), I was already in love with a joke. Always confident, strong - and at the same time neat and calm, he admired me more and more.

The difficulties began when I moved to the "nest" acquired by my husband (in the city he had at least another apartment, which he called the "Cabinet" - and often remained there to "work" and "think"). And the difficulties are exactly the kind, about which I, meeting them in some talk show or melodrama, wrinkled: "Marishanna, I would have your problems!" I asked - got.

What are the ex-Cinderella complaining about? "I miss self-realization, and he binds me to the house"? "I feel dependent, and he does not hide that he looks down at me down"? All this "mandatory program", expressing the sports language, I "killed".

The novel insisted in the scheme, hoped by Gogol: "He married exactly that, to pay himself from small worries, just give schism." My business is to command the cleaners and give instructions for the delivery service. And from my socially useful work is a sense of zero.

He said: "Infinitely small efficiency" - and brought a lot of reasonable arguments. I did not work convincingly to contrarable, and I pointed, myself starting believing that science and medicine will survive without me, and I - without them.

I tried to show a creative approach to home deals and at the same time to find a lesson for the soul: it took a flower activity. But Roma promptly the presets of my aesthetic impulses, limiting their loggia.

And politely, but firmly asked for significant changes in the house, right up to the change of the curtain, without its consent, do not produce. Now I started feeling caught by fish: going to the loggia, I wanted to suffer enough to the air of my mouth.

Life in a golden cage - habit, as a replacement of happiness

In my youth, I did not complain about timidity and softness, but in the case of my husband I realized that my character really was a rag of frivolous. I absolutely did not know how to convince, prove, redo. Even "gently pressing" or overcome. From the height of his growth smack me in the top of me - and I did everything in my own way.

So you would be opposed if I wanted "! He is always better visible, even what style I goes, what kind of juice is more useful. The charm was dispelled, gradually replacing irritation. Talking tightly with the novel, I began to think that it would be better for a nine-hour busy working day - less would be tired of the soul ...

I tried to act in the style of the stone, which I found a braid. According to him, with whom he kindly acquainted me, we had to go in the evening together to go on some kind of presentation, he will come for me in so much, such a clothing form.

I left him a note that I have my own plans, put my phone nearby - and went through the whole city to the institutional friend. By tram! Right behind her house began forests and fields. We completely luxuriously swayed on the grass with a bottle of "frames", fed the protein, and cried cuckoo and chatted legs in the river ...

In the evening there was a scandal. I learned my husband with another side - like a thunder and a lightning thrower. "Pack of first graders! You know, what is the name of a person who can not be trusted? Do you open the dictionary?! " I was sentenced to punish the "arrest" of my favorite jewelry. Yeah, really, like a child! ..

Everything was boiling inside me, but I could not spoil him in response, as if I was tightly covered with a heavy lid. I wanted to start silently and leave ... But where?

I have not spoken up with my parents for several years, few school and institute friends somehow gradually "resolved" during my marriage.

Someone left, someone was engaged in their own family problems (as a girlfriend, with which I spent the evening and which was crowded in a communal with a bunch of relatives), someone simply disappeared in an unknown direction. Now, I understand that in society me and Roma people were uncomfortable. His circle of communication I can call friends, of course, could not.

The next day I thought for a long time, weighing everything "for" and "against." And he felt that I simply had no strength for radical changes. I understood that several species had sex. First, I, of course, twitch and erasing in timid attempts to show independence - and yet it is convenient for me that all important questions do not decide.

What I can answer any claim: "I do not know, it's for my husband." Secondly, I am thoroughly accustomed to comfortable living conditions. I remembered the angle that I was removed from the old Granny to dating Roma. I moved there, as soon as I started earning my first independent money: I had long lacked moral forces to get around with daddy daily boots and mother-harsh preachs - according to the views of her sect, I had to burn in hell ... BR-R!

It is equally unpleasant to remember the parent home "boiling" quarrels, where no one was needed by anyone, and the miserable removable accommodation. Now it is difficult for me to imagine, as you can do without an air conditioner (once he entered, so I didn't go crazy for a day, while I fixed) - What about the encouraged Soviet wallpapers and current pipes?!

Will I be able to breakfast with kabachkoy caviar after shrimp salads with avocado? It's one thing - to live in need of initially, quite another thing - to get into it from wealth. And in general, changes are terrible when life flows measured and stable. Yes, "the" habit of more than we are given "...

Life in the Golden Cage - Freedom is impossible

I still did not fold my arms. Having said to himself: "So you will turn yourself as a person - do you need it?!" I tried to somehow work on myself. I decided to read more, to learn from a new one. She began to view the "Work for you" sites.

And even went to one interview. Salary there were offered a little, but I really liked people. "Well ... how?" - Girl asked with sincere excitement - an office manager when I left the Cabinet of the Chief. This is a lively participation of me talked. I felt: it's time.

Freamed. Break with him. Start doing a career. And in general a new life. I told such short phrases as a mantra, returning home from the interview. Right now. I feel strong. The bright sun shines and the snow flashes. Need to tell him. Right today. Further will be easier, the main thing is not to retreat before the first step ...

Making a step with an outstanding stairs, I stumbled and stuck down. Something sharply burned, and everything around darkened.

Returning to reality, I wondered, like in a dream. There were some two unfamiliar young guys around me. They discharged where it hurts, can I move, told my leg. The leg was wild, and did not want to move.

They argued hotly. "Do you remember a lot about first aid?! Do not dare to go anything yourself! " Fussed. Looking for a tire board. Caused "ambulance" ... I was all this time as if somewhere wrong. My husband thoughtfully call only from the hospital. "This is in your style," he remarked dry, "I will come."

I will not retell all my hospital torments. The novel, of course, quickly transported me from the urgent into some kind of good, as he is expressed, the hospital - and anyway, all my fractures (I managed in one fear of "breaking down" in several places) they strangely and wrong.

For a very long time, I felt infinitely for a long time, studying the patterns of cracks on the ceiling. Then they began to teach me to go. Do this without a crutch seemed completely impossible.

When the massage therapist began to grind me and twist (with the sadistic intonation sentenced: "Saita-AS will grow-withdraw!"), I tried to wrest from him in horror: it was hurt ... In the end, I received the disability of the second group.

And thus it was doubly dependent on whom it was still so long to dissociate himself.

During this time, our relationship with the novel has brought to some completely lifeless "tick." So I understand, I'm tired of him, and he himself does not understand why then I "picked up". But as an honest person, can not put a lame ...

Yes, the husband did not throw me on the mercy of fate. He feeds, the treatment pays. But I feel His indifference - already such power, which I seem to myself a maximum of indoor flower, which is watered once a day. Roman lives his life. Almost all the time, if it does not go somewhere "by affairs", spends in another apartment. I communicate with me in two words: "Hi" and "yep".

With some young lady, it is clearly found, judging by the playful chirping from his phone, which heard whenever he comes ... And he settled some distant relative. Killed two hares: and a poor aunt was attached, and I did not leave me, no help and alone. In general, the life is normal, established. I want to fuck ...

Life in a golden cage - Do I have the right?

Once my phone "highlighted" unfamiliar numbers. "You gave me your number ... - Dogging, said someone embarrassed. - I remember how you were seriously injured ... I worry ... How is your health? " It was one of my "rescuers." We must, I absolutely did not remember that I gave him something! ..

But attention was so nice! During the illness, my loneliness strengthened even more: the guests came to me more than more than once a month, they tried their eyes and struggle to talk about trifles, so as not to push me on the corn, recalling my problem.

But "in the commercial explanations of this guy did not feel anything unpleasant and awkward! I walked out, I was pressed with three boxes and invited a guy to go. Without no such bad thought. Moreover, Romanova Tetushka is incredible at all ...

Lesha brought flowers. Conventional small fluffy chrysanthemmes. And then I realized that this is exactly what I have not seen all these five years with diamonds and air conditioners ... "Do you live here? - Guest was surprised. - Here in the atmosphere, you don't care about you! .. "The remark was what is called, not in the eyebrow ...

... He leaves no hope that I will tell him "yes." Because it is firmly confident that without love and understanding can be inserted in the most "comfortable atmosphere, and no diseases and deprivation are terrible with it. "And how do you imagine our life, Leshenka?" - "Yes wonderful! In any case, equal ... What do you swing your head? Are you afraid of difficulties? But they are not as terrible when you fight them together! "

Yes, and the speech of lovers such fiery - it seems, can insert the whole world in one word! .. I myself feel that I agree with him and ready to build a paradise in the slash ... But at night I can't fall asleep: the damned questions climb. "Why, why do I, with him, young and healthy, such a disabled, will I spoil my life?" "And suddenly soon he gets tired of difficulties with me and find another - how do I survive it?" "

And how we still will strike these very circumstances - he earns a little, I do not know how to earn, and the medicines and procedures eat so many products ... "I wake up - and! I immediately want to fall asleep again to get into those places where you don't need to deal with anything, nothing to run away, to solve anything ...

Life in a golden cage - says a psychologist's practitioner:

"What should I do?" - Asks a man when life puts it before choosing. I want someone to suggest, directed, as before the stone on the crossroads, - what direction will be more secure. Nevertheless, no one can make this choice for the one who turned out to be in front of him. Because the guarantees and unambiguities in life situations do not happen.

And someone else's decision will not help listen to himself, feeling all "for" and "against" their own situation. The dependent state (first of all - psychologically dependent) really relaxes a person, its capabilities, its ability to implement itself.

Therefore, the desire to break with him naturally in any person who has not yet turned into a "free app" to someone or something else. But, running out of one addiction, it is important not to get into the other. After all, if the previous attitude towards life is preserved ("I was chosen," "I decide for me," "I help") - where is the guarantee that the same difficulties will not begin in the new "scenery"?

To get rid of someone else's pressure, it is necessary, first of all, to work out the willingness to independently make decisions, take certain steps, take full responsibility for them, say clear "yes" and "no" what you like - and what for you You are unacceptable.

Before studying the science of harmonious compatibility, everyone has to learn to communicate with himself.

Life in a golden cage is a female story.

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