What you need to know to communicate. How to learn to communicate with people: communication secrets

A person is known to be met by his clothes. But how he will be seen off depends not so much on his mind as on the manner of communication. You may not be well-read (which in general is in vain), but the literacy of your speech, the ability to present yourself and maintain a conversation largely determines the impression that you make on others. So what should be the correct communication with people? We will try to analyze this topical issue in detail.

How to communicate correctly?

The correct manner of communication is the key to harmonious interaction with modern society, from government officials to a simple worker somewhere at a construction site. Communication at a high level will allow you to decide in your favor difficult negotiations with partners, to find influential acquaintances, and simply to establish yourself as a person who will not reach into his pocket for a word. If you want to be just such a person, remember the basic postulates of how to communicate correctly in society in order to achieve your goal:

1. Be polite and keep your distance. Having started a dialogue with a person, do not rush to switch to "you" with him, try not to switch to slang or jargon.
2. Emphasize the importance of the person of the interlocutor for you - remember his name (and if he is older in position, also his patronymic) and refer to him that way. Be attentive to the interlocutor and do not be distracted during a conversation by working on a computer or a telephone conversation.
3. Remain helpful in any situation. If your sewage system is clogged or neighbors are drowning, you should not get lost on the representatives of the utilities or the neighbors themselves. With a friendly attitude, you will achieve a faster and more positive reaction to your problem. In addition, it will noticeably save your nerves.
4. Always be honest with your conversation partner. Correct communication with people does not accept lies and resourcefulness. First, guile will quickly become noticeable, and second, honesty is a trait that in itself deserves respect.
5. Learn to listen to others. This means not only nodding your head automatically, but also maintaining a dialogue!
6. Smile! A benevolent smile can work wonders and disarm the most aggressive interlocutor. Besides, a smile perfectly disposes to a calm, friendly conversation.
7. Never demand or threaten anything. Forget the phrase: "You have to ...". Nobody should do anything to you, except for the situation with debtors and hired workers. In any case, any threat or rudeness on your part will be met with hostility and with a clear share of aggression.

These are just some of the rules to follow if you want to know how to communicate with people correctly. In addition to the basic provisions of competent communication, it is important to observe the correct communication technique. It lies in the ability to use non-verbal cues during a conversation. It will help you develop the basic social skills you need to have meaningful communication. Effective signals of communication techniques include the following:

• maintaining eye contact with the interlocutor;
• control of your posture during a conversation;
• control of your facial expression (watch what emotions you express during a conversation);
• control of social distance (do not approach the interlocutor with whom you are not familiar more than half a meter, so as not to violate his "intimate zone");
• control of the intonation and volume of the voice (a calm, even voice is more effective in communication);
• understanding the non-verbal signals of other people (it is important not only to monitor your own gestures and manners, but also how your interlocutors show them);
• the volume of speech (too many words or, on the contrary, too few - this is clear sign the limitations of the interlocutor's inner world).

By the way, speaking of speech, do not forget that it is also an important factor in the ability to communicate correctly. Pay attention to the following speech components that will help you learn how to communicate correctly:

Knowing how to properly communicate with people is the key to successful communication with society. This skill will not only allow you to gain respect among those around you, but will also make it much easier to climb the career ladder. Remember - your success depends a lot on your communication skills.

Communication is an integral part of human life. Every day we are in contact with a lot of people - with family, with colleagues at work, business partners, friends, as well as with complete strangers - in a store, subway and just on the street. It is very important to be pleasant for both interlocutors, as well as productive. After all, what is its main goal? That's right, mutual exchange of information, thoughts, feelings and emotions. It is worth especially emphasizing the word "mutual", that is, each of the interlocutors must be understood and heard by the other, otherwise, in the future, resentments, misunderstandings, and, ultimately, quarrels may arise. That is why each of us just needs to know the rules of communication with people. What they are, what they are - we will tell you about this in this article, so read carefully, the information will certainly be useful to you.

Let's talk?

Psychologists say that the rules for communicating with people are a kind of unwritten code. He helps to become an excellent conversationalist, whose opinion is always listened to and who is always a welcome guest in any home. it is also very important during business negotiations with partners. And in ordinary life it won't hurt. A person who knows the rules of communicating with people and applies them in practice always has many good friends and acquaintances, he is always welcome.

Down with embarrassment!

But what if you absolutely do not know how to communicate with others? Whenever you try to talk to a person, you become afraid, you start to stutter, or you completely forget what you wanted to say. Does this happen? Then heed our simple tips. First of all, remember the first and most important rule: you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of other people. You can communicate with every person on an equal footing. Ask him questions, ask for help, or share information. Communication is a completely natural process for every person, so drop your complexes and start communicating. You will see that it is easy. And now we will tell you 5 rules for communicating with people. In fact, there are many more of them, but we will highlight the most basic ones.

Rules of communication between people

So, if you want to be a good conversationalist:

Strangers can become friends

There are also situations when you need to communicate with complete strangers. You have come to a party organized by a friend. You are just joining a new team at school or work. There can be many such situations. Therefore, you should remember the rules for communicating with strangers:

Remember that the above rules for dealing with people are easy, however, they will help you in your daily life while talking to everyone. Don't forget to put them into practice!

A person lives in society, therefore the topic of interpersonal communication is relevant. Each individual meets every day with others at work, school, queues in the store. But what about those who are closed and do not know how to build communication, how to properly address a stranger? Alone there are few who want to live, and it is impossible to completely isolate in the city. Therefore, it is necessary to look for ways to overcome shyness, closeness and get along with people.

In what areas do you need communication?

All people living in one society, one way or another, collide with each other and exchange any information. Communication implies not only the exchange of interests, experience, but also short-term contact with a person regarding the provision of a service, purchase of goods, and so on. That requires more or less developed skills of interaction with another.

So, communication is realized in the following areas:

• Family;
• Child-parent;
• Serving;
• Working when establishing business contacts;
• For employment;
• Trade.

Even if you are sure that you will live without society, doing with a minimum of contact with others, and developing communication skills is useless - this is a delusion. Well-structured interaction will lead to successful results.

Another issue is the need for communication. In psychology, it is considered to be one of the basic ones. A developing personality will be unhappy if you do not devote at least a little time to this factor. In addition, if you learn to organize your communication, use the rules, then it will become easier and faster to convey a thought.

Guidance from Carnegie

This section covers the very rules, following which you will communicate more effectively with people. American psychologist Dale Carnegie deduced several postulates that gained popularity in the early 20th century and have not lost their relevance to this day.

Here are 6 basic rules for building communication.

First rule: sincere interest in something else

Each person is convinced that he is unique and the only one in the world. It is worth considering this when communicating with another person. Show interest, and your friend will open up, appear in a new quality. Communication is much more effective when you listen to others with attention.

Second rule: smile.

A person with a smile on his face initially attracts more, evokes sympathy than a downcast one. People tend to give preference to the positive over the negative. A smile is conducive to pleasant communication.

Third rule: Do not forget that calling a person by name is to please him.

Conclusion

We found out what methods you can use to learn to communicate more effectively, what rules to follow. And then you will master the real art. It is important to remember that training is useful in front of the webcam and in front of the mirror. It's also a good idea to record and listen to yourself from the outside. This will help you hear the flaws and learn about the merits of your speech.

It is quite natural that at first we perceive only the external behavior of people, we follow their words. But, knowing the process of communication from the inside, from all its sides, we discover for ourselves both the latent motives of a person, and the true message of what he wants to convey.

Develop your horizons, study more literature and educational programs. Take notes and evaluate yourself objectively, boldly make adjustments and strive for excellence. Of course, don't forget about practice - communicating with real people. Only new acquaintances will allow you to truly improve your communication skills, to master the obtained theory in action.

What prevents us from easily and simply communicating with people - talking, maintaining contact? After all, speaking is one of the most important human abilities.

There are many reasons, among which the most popular are:

Shyness,
- fear of saying stupidity,
- fear of being misunderstood,
- unwillingness to express your opinion -

and many other excuses that hide the psychological problem of communication. How to communicate correctly with people so that this process brings joy, how to reveal the secret of the ability to talk and negotiate -.

Why you can't talk to people correctly

The ability to communicate with people is required every day. Thanks to the ability to speak, we can communicate our thoughts, make friends, confess our love, pursue a career and be confident in any situation in life. The whole life of a modern person consists of intersections with other people, and communication skills are essential.

But what if the conversation fails? Fear, isolation, unsociability, insecurity - all this makes it impossible to find a common language with the interlocutor... Solve the mystery effective communication the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan helps.

Communicative interaction is the act of transmitting and receiving information between people. It seems that everything is simple and clear. But for some reason a failure occurs, and a person cannot easily perform these very actions. The reasons lie in his psyche, which determines thoughts, ulterior motives, priorities. Regardless of education or age, the psychology of communication is closely related to the set of desires and values \u200b\u200bof a particular person, called vectors.

The rules of the psychology of communication: for whom it is important

For the owner of the anal vector, the problem will be the fear of disgrace, to say something wrong, out of place. Excellent memory and the ability to analyze past events carefully preserve all past mistakes and mistakes in his thoughts.

An innate tendency towards perfectionism and attention to detail make him constantly scroll through a different set of conversation options in his head, think about the next word. Therefore, his speech is slow, burdened with many details, often unnecessary for the interlocutor. If interrupted during a conversation or forced to speak faster, he may become stupid and lose the conversation.

The tendency to generalize is bad personal experience instead of productively applying their analytical skills to professional activity inevitably leads to fear of communication. And even if such a person starts attending trainings on communication with people, the problems are likely to remain. The set of rules and recommendations obtained there shows how to work on the investigation, but cannot remove the cause of uncertainty and difficulties in communication.

And this is the main thing - to realize the reasons for your fears and problems. It's like a medical diagnosis. When it is precisely set and the cause of the disease is determined, it can be cured. Knowing how the psyche works, its properties can be used for the benefit of others and for your joy.

Scary to communicate with people: how to overcome yourself

And if it is scary not only to communicate, but even to live? The huge emotional amplitude of the owner of the visual vector sometimes plays evil jokes with him. The range of emotions from boundless happiness to the same boundless grief and longing. An amazingly rich imagination throws up fantastic plots of disasters, murders and innumerable troubles.

It is people with a visual vector that have the strongest fears, panic attacks and anxiety.

The innate fear of death is a root emotion, as the cause of the whole variety of phobias remains in a visual person, when all his thoughts revolve around fear for himself and his own safety. He begins to be afraid to communicate with people, acting out in his head fantastic stories about robberies, violence, murders. The spectator's fantasies are so vivid and exciting that he begins to believe them, live in a fictional reality and cannot get out of there.

The paradox is that fantasies are transferred to real life... The more the viewer fears for himself, the more fears he has, the more often he finds himself in situations where he becomes a victim of no longer invented stories. He can't be confident. It "smells" of fear, "victim", and this smell is caught by everyone - from dogs that growl and bite such people to rapists and robbers.

Psychologists' advice on how to overcome fear, overcome yourself, stop being afraid, do not give any result. And this is understandable. After all, again we are trying to deal with the investigation, not understanding the reasons for any fears, including the fear of communicating with people. Awareness of their properties and desires allows a person to get rid of all the problems associated with hypertrophied self-care and fear for oneself.

Empathy with other people, relatives, friends, friends allows the viewer to establish a strong emotional contact with the interlocutor and share his sorrows and joys with him. In this case, the fear goes away and there is no communication problem at all. On the contrary, people are drawn to such people. They want to be near them, feeling genuine sympathy and empathy.

How to learn to communicate when you are not interesting to me

Sound people are generators of ideas. But with whom to share them? Who can understand and discuss them? Genius in potential, but difficult to communicate, as if fixated on themselves and their thoughts, the sound people often close in on themselves, poorly make contact with people. They cannot clearly and simply express their thoughts, because they themselves understand the meaning, and it is no longer interesting to pronounce the entire chain of words.

Egocentrics by nature, arrogant and "the smartest", people with a sound vector can engage in spiritual self-improvement, the psychology of which is to cognize what is not in the material world. Of course, finding like-minded people for such communication is not easy. But if this happened, then the two sound people will discuss the higher worlds, spiritual topics, or happily be silent, sitting at night under the starry sky.

To answer the age-old questions - who am I, where am I from and where am I going? - the sound engineer needs to be aware of his desires and characteristics. Realizing that his main desire is to know himself, the people around him and the meaning of life, the sound engineer can get out of his "shell" and begin to learn the world... The transfer of concentration from your inner states to others completely solves all the problems of communication with people.

Ability to communicate correctly with people and build social connections very important for a person who wants to feel comfortable in this life.

It is not always possible to communicate with people correctly. This stems from the old ineffective communication models. However, it's never too late to learn how to communicate correctly.

Ineffective model of communication with people

Let's first consider how to communicate with people incorrectly. In this case, communication generates more negative than positive.

Here are the main signs of an ineffective communication model:

If there is something like that in your interaction, it cannot be said that it is so correct to communicate with people.

Due to the fact that a person does not communicate correctly with people, over time he stops enjoying communication. As a result, a person strives to deliberately avoid contact with people. And there is an increasing isolation from society.

How to properly communicate with people, improving the social sphere

To live a fulfilling life, it is important to improve the social sphere - the sphere of communication and interaction with other people.

The social sphere is as important as other areas of life. And in all areas it is necessary that there are no distortions.

If a person strives to learn how to communicate with people correctly, and applies knowledge in practice, over time he will learn to communicate better and better.

How and with whom can you communicate?

1. Meeting with friends
2. Communication by phone
3. Social networking with people
4. Communication with work colleagues
5. Meet new people

Compulsive communication

However, communication should not be (or dependent) in nature.

When does communication become compulsive?

When do they take place:

• Too violent communication with people
• Communication too energetic
• Talk more and listen less
• Ignoring the words of the interlocutor
• Demand in the process of communication a certain attitude towards oneself.

Communication is, first of all, communication between two people, where the interests of both parties must be taken into account. Correct communication should not turn into a monologue of one person.

A separate section in my blog "" is devoted to how to communicate with people correctly.

How to properly communicate with people while improving communication skills?

Low self-esteem is the first cause of communication problems.

Perhaps when communicating, you feel resentment towards other people, or internally judge them. This could be related to your low self-esteem.

• As a person treats himself, so do those around him.
• If we respect ourselves, then others will respect us.
• If we have high self-esteem, then we can easily communicate with other people without fear that they will offend or humiliate us.

If we want to properly communicate with people, we must increase our own self-esteem.

Use more often positive statements about yourself ... For example:

1. I am worthy
   
2. I'm complete
3. I'm strong
4. I'm smart
5. I'm done

Give up the victim position

Many of us have stuck feeling sorry for yourself.

We are used to blaming other people and circumstances for everything.

To communicate correctly with people, you need to abandon the position of the victim and choose the position of the author of your life.

This means taking responsibility for yourself.

Don't blame others, but ask yourself: “ What can I do on my part to improve communication? »

We must understand that any problems, including in communicating with people, were caused by ourselves and, therefore, we ourselves can change them.

When you take responsibility for yourself, you have the power to learn how to communicate properly with people.

New models of communication with people

We need to change old communication models for new, more effective ones.

New models of communication with people are introduced into life with great effort, since they are unusual for us. But still it is quite possible to apply them in your life.

If you learn to consciously practice new reactions in communicating with people, over time they will replace the old ones.

If you have fewer negative emotions in your life, caused by lack of communication, then there will be less stress, which will improve the quality of your sobriety.

Now you know how to properly communicate with people. The only thing left to do is to introduce the outlined advice into your life.

Write in the comments if you notice difficulties when communicating with other people? If so, what do you think is the reason?