How to learn to speak well with people. How to learn to communicate with people? We comprehend the art of effective communication

27.09.2020

How to learn to communicate with people, exercise, and be interesting.

Interaction with other people occurs with communication. At work, at home with your family, in high school or various events, we constantly need to contact and communicate with other people to find out for yourself something new.

That is why it is so important to be able to correctly communicate with others, even if you have other ideas on this. And this is where the question may appear what to do if the communicative skills you are not very.

Well, in this case, at first it is worth finding the cause of the emerging barrier:

As a barrier arising from a person during an attempt to communicate, you can consider the inability and unwillingness to listen and hear your interlocutor;
As the so-called barrier, the inability of a person to demonstrate the fact that the topic affected by other participants does not interest him;
Also fear of new people. And if we talk more precisely, to say the fear of saying to new people something is not what I wanted to know, too, is a rather strong obstacle in communication.

Only overcoming these barriers, you can communicate normally with other people.

To learn to communicate with other people and become a good and interesting source for them, as a rule, psychologists offer various exercises.

However, among them, I would like to allocate some of the most interesting:

Conversation with inanimate objects. Perhaps this recommendation will seem to you strange, however, if it is quite difficult to find a common language with other people, then something to tell an inanimate subject will be much easier. Detach such conversations about 20 minutes a day;
Alternatively, you can call everything you see and add adjective to it. A kind of exercise, but, nevertheless, effective. For example, being at home, list all interior items in turn. Suppose the chair got into the field of your vision. In this case, we can say that the stool is old / new and so on. To adjective, you can add words that gives more detailed description We have seen. For example, "standing chair brown color, it hangs things for tomorrow's trip to the movies "and other descriptions;
Ten neglected or other words chat with 10 completely unfamiliar people. Thus, you will not only overcome fear, before strangers, but also be able to liberate a little. This will undoubtedly help in the future enough to make new acquaintances. If you do not know where to start, then, for example, you can ask the stranger with the road or specify, how much time and other, simple appeals.

When the question appears, how to learn to communicate with people, exercise, and be interesting, the recommendations described above are effective.

Only, starting a conversation with strangers, it is worth sticking to some rules that will be discussed further.

Several useful rules

In order not to have any particular difficulties in communicating with other people, it is worth following some rules:

Want to achieve normal communication - learn to listen and hear the interlocutor. When you tell you something, you should not interrupt about and without, as well, you need to be interested in conversation, if such really is;
During the conversation, it is desirable to adhere to the same tempo of speech and intonation available at the interlocutor. So you can arrange it to yourself without any problems;
Try to periodically call a person with whom you speak by name;
Communicate for an interesting companion and you topics;
Do not forget to control your facial expressions and gestures. People also pay special attention to the facial expressions and gesticulation. Excessive gesticulation, firstly, not always to the place, and secondly, is a sign of nervousness. Try to do non-refineous, non-frog and soft gestures. Also, do not forget about your facial expressions and follow the fare of the interlocutor. Try to determine the mood of one who communicate with whom;
Try to look at a person with whom communicate, open and look at it, during the conversation. So you additionally show that you are interested in conversation. Long to watch eyes in the eye, it is also not worth it, it can add voltages during communication. If the interlocutor tries to watch you right in the eyes, try to watch just in their direction, but do not focus your eyes in his eyes, but see how through it;
During the conversation, try to speak firmly, clearly and competently. At the same time, your speech should be calm, measured and intonationally correct. Try to avoid monotony;
Try while talking to smile when necessary. The smile always helps to arrange other people. However, you should not smile constantly, otherwise you risk earning a reputation not at all adequate person;
If possible, expand your worldview and vocabulary. For these purposes, books are well suited. By the way, with their help, you can increase the level of your literacy;
Do not be afraid if you need to ask questions you are interested in. Especially if the topic affected the topic is not close to you. And so you can understand the essence of the topic. Yes, and the interlocutor will be pleased that it is not only listening, but also hear and moreover, they are interested.

Outcome

Worth the question of how to learn to communicate with other people, what exercises are, and how to be interesting, how it is possible to see it is not so difficult.

With the advent of humanity, there was a tremendous need for communication. Even in ancient times, it was impossible to warn the tribesman, to express his sympathy of a woman, to teach children to survive and hunt, passing their knowledge and skills. Today we have a clear system of symbols, through which we can say absolutely all that we think. But even in modern society, some people have difficulty communicating and do not always know how to overcome them.

Features

From the very birth, we begin to learn the language in which they subsequently talk all their life. However, the ability to pronounce sounds in the correct sequence does not mean that we have the art of communication, it can be compared with sound resistance. He says the man then when in his words makes sense when they are used with some value in a particular situation.

As matters, it has to communicate more and more. It depends on its successful socialization in children's gardenThe ability to "take care" at school, the degree of success at the university and at work. Communicating with peers, it is important to try to become an interesting interlocutor for them, be able to attract attention. Adults should see in you a worthy opponent, a person with whom it is nice to deal.

But it is difficult to be interesting enough for everyone, and for some this goal may be practically unattainable. Several factors that interfere with people fully communicate:

Personal complexes and insecurity. In this case, a person simply does not believe that someone can interest talking, it does not decide to express his thoughts and ideas.
Opposite phenomenon - heightened self-esteem. Such people put themselves higher than others. The surrounding do not understand them and do not seek to go with them to contact.
Active use of social networks. Online communication can cause fear of real meetings, insecurity.
Poor intellectual development. A small set of knowledge narrows the circle to which a person can communicate, because it quickly becomes boring with him.

The role of communication

Communication always played an important role in a person's life. As soon as people have learned to contact each other, it became an important ability to properly build a dialogue, please the one who likes, even verbally punish the offender. There are so many different factors in the life of a person to be able to control and subjugate that without the skills of proper communication can not work out. In addition, the consequences of the inability to conduct a dialogue can even negatively affect your life.

Success in school or university is explained not only to a pleasant external species. For the most part, "popular" people know how to communicate, holding attention to their personality. In work and in personal life it is also important.

At work, you may not be raised by the post, even if you are worthy of simply because you can not successfully establish contacts and conduct business negotiations. IN family life You, too, will not be able to avoid problems if you do not learn to find a common language with a partner. If you do not have common topics for conversation, or you will not be able to solve controversial situations and find a compromise, relationships can "give a crack."

All modern society is based on the ability to correctly build speech and contact with others. Famous politicians, science and art figures would not be so famous if they could not subjected to one word large number of people.

Therefore, if you want to be successful and happy, it is important to learn to communicate with people, correct your speech shortcomings and improve in this area.

Ways to achieve efficiency

In modern society, the ability to negotiate the conversation is an important aspect. In the process of communication there is a perception of each other by the interlocutors, the exchange of information, personal and business interaction, the search for solutions.

If you have not received speech skills from nature, you should not "hang my nose" and give up. The ability to speak beautifully and seek in conversation of the necessary results can be learned independently. The main thing is to know what is required for this. For effective communication, it is important to decompose the process of communication to the components and specifically to work every one of them:

Acquire confidence - important moment. First of all, to learn how to communicate normally, you need to start respecting yourself. You must confidently express our thoughts, even if they are mistaken, because your point of view has the right to exist. Your opponent will understand that you need to be considered that your judgments make sense, and they can be listed.
Try to cope with fear. Many insecure people behave in a dialogue passively. They are afraid to ask questions, be interested in anything, to express their opinion so as not to enjoy the indignation of others. They are afraid of condemning views, possible unpleasant comments in their address. Do not be afraid to deal with the way you are comfortable, ask about everything that interests you.

Treat the interlocutor respectfully and tactfully. Do not interrupt the speaker, give him the opportunity to completely speak, even if you disagree with his arguments. Only then calmly express your opinion.
Try not to be distracted by foreign topics. The ability to beautifully and competently state their thoughts, while speaking essentially, will allow you to quickly earn respect in society.
You must be able to call the confidence of the interlocutor. To achieve this goal, you need quite a bit - just look into the eye partner. Thanks to the audience contact, you can easily establish a connection. If a person lowers or hides his eyes, his behavior is not always perceived as a sign of constraint. It is more often regarded as insincerity or even a lie. Such a conversation does not bring anything good.

It is important to show genuine interest in the interlocutor. During a conversation with an unfamiliar person, you need to give him the opportunity to tell about myself, express my thoughts. Do not speak a lot. A monologue can quickly tire a person, and he hardly wants to talk with you again. You need to make a person felt in your company at ease. Interest in the conversation should be mutual. Do not forget to use your opponent's name. This nuance will also show your interest in it.
It is also important to be able to ask the right questions. This is especially necessary if you just get acquainted with a person and want to learn more about him. The art of the correct formulation of questions makes it possible to receive full-fledged deployed responses instead of discreet "yes" or "no". So you can make a conversation easy and interesting, allowing the interlocutor to feel confidently and freely in your society.
Using knowledge and erudition- no less important moment. A person who has a big margin of knowledge is easier to start and support any conversation. Communication with such people delivers a lot of positive emotions to all interlocutors.

How to be interesting?

If you want to take an active part in discussions, and sometimes even become the initiator of the conversation, it is important to be able to have people to be interesting for others. Correctly chosen topic - half of the success. If you prepare in advance for the conversation, read as much information on this issue as possible, you will be well oriented in it and always find what to say. It is only important to issue information portion and at the right moments, otherwise communication will be similar to the report.

To the topic of the conversation was interesting and convenient for everyone, It is important to clarify whether someone does not mind this conversation, and only then begin an active discussion.Unwillingness of someone from the group to communicate can show its weak knowledge in this matter or greater insecurity. If a person does not protest, but does not take part in communication, it is necessary to involve him in a conversation, ask his opinion. Gradually, a person will find confidence and will be a member of the conversation.

Do not be afraid to communicate with people of different professions, interests, social status. Over time, you will learn to adapt to any conversation and correctly "serve" yourself in society.

Communication in the collective

In order for communication in the team to be pleasant and easy, it is important to consider only two main factor. The most important thing is to find an individual approach to each participant of the team or a specific conversation. If you communicate with new people for yourself, try to cross the common phrases with each conversation member to draw up an opinion about it, to determine the type of it temperament, learn about the characteristics of the character.

Taking on the construction of the right communication in the team, it is important to communicate with each at its level (except those who are superior to people). All members of the team should feel necessary and respected. Only then the Communication process will be pleasant and successful.

The second point is the ability to listen.We know how to talk since childhood, but the art of attentive attitude towards the interlocutor is much more important. This is necessary in order for the conversation to be interesting, informative and pleasant to all of its participants. Do not interrupt the storytellor. So you will impress a non-cultural person. In addition, your intervention can knock down the speaker. Respect all the participants in the conversation, and you will also be treated.

Dialogue with opposite floor

Acquaintance with the opposite sex man requires special skills. Even with confidence in herself and positive communication experience with their peers, to begin communication with the representative of the opposite sex is not easy. To get acquainted with both sides, it is important to adhere to some tips:

Be natural. Do not try to constantly joke or be overly serious. If you want to make a good impression, be yourself. It is sincerity that will help attract attention to you, and then and conquer your future soulam. Only so you can make communication alive and fascinating.
Starting the conversation, follow not only for vocabulary, but also for the correctness of humor and raised in conversation. Inappropriate jokes and too personal questions may not only not be interested in a person, but even push it away.
When you first get acquainted, keep the distance, respect your personal space. It is not worth hugging a representative oppositely the floor without his consent. At the beginning of the interaction, it is better to make focus on building a dialogue.
When first contact, it is often important to watch the interlocutor in the eyes and sincerely smile. It will show your openness, interest and sympathy for a person. Only so you will have a nice conversation that will further paint into something more.

Communication process with different people

In the process of daily communication, we are faced with a huge number of people. Different characters, upbringing, social status, age and many other nuances affect the process of communicating with each specific person. It is necessary to learn to apply an individual approach to various interlocutors, otherwise you can be in an unpleasant situation.

Each person is a unique person, and you need to reckon with it. If you do not agree with someone, it's not necessary to criticize him right away. Quietly express your point of view and try to find a compromise.

If the phrases or jokes of the interlocutor annoyed you, it is better to translate communication to another bed, so you can avoid conflict. If you start openly make comments, you can provoke a scandal.

Communicating with one people, do not discuss others. First, your words can sooner or later "walk" to the object of your conversation. Secondly, the reputation of a person who all discusses and criticizes, will not bring you popularity. On the contrary, you will be offended by people. Few will want to openly communicate with such an unpleasant personality.

The psychology of communication with people is a section of psychology that studies the features of varieties of communication, identifying basic rules that contribute to the achievement of success at the interlocutor. Also aims to eliminate difficulties in dialogue and fear of communicating with people.

One of the basic communication rules is not only speech. Also important is the emotional conversation color. Learn to be a good interlocutor very simple, you should only understand the principles and rules on which the psychology of communication with people is based.

Communication is one of the main social functions of society.

Communication classification:

Friendly.
Intimate.
Business.

Communication is contacting between people in order to exchange information and experience, for joint activities.

The art of communication is one of the main and weighty life experiences that people should possess. It does not depend on the social situation, place of work or lifestyle, because the psychology of communication with people is present in any conversation. Facial expression, tin, facial expression and intonation indirectly affect the interlocutor when talking.

A person who knows the basic principles of communication is much easier to present the necessary information in the right bed, to achieve certain results and achieve success in communicating with people.

Signs of communication with people as a guarantee of successful authority

In order to learn how to communicate correctly, to understand the interlocutor and to convey the information is beneficial for yourself in the process of conversation, scientists have identified a number of rules, which will help to find harmonies with any conversation.

Communication according to the rules of psychology allocates a number of tips that will help to establish contact with the interlocutor and hone personal skills in this difficult business.

First of all, it is necessary when communicating to give to understand your interlocutor that the opinion about him is good. It will place it to positive communication, but also should be provided with its authority.

The statement of information must be accessible and understandable. It is recommended to use emotional color when talking, but in moderation. When conversations one one should adapt to the interlocutor, it will help to arrange it to himself.

True manifestation of interest to the interlocutor. It will help to create a trust in the conversation.

The invaluable quality of a person is the ability to ask leading questions that contribute to the further conclusion of the necessary information. And do not forget that when talking with people you need to be able to listen to the interlocutors.

Observing the basic rules and communication skills in the presence of self-confidence, it is possible to easily achieve stunning results and become one of the best interlocutors.

Basic rules of psychology of communication with a girl

Each educated person knows about the rules of communication, decency, etiquette, and so on, the violation of which is unacceptable in society. For men, there are also certain rules whose compliance will help to appear before the representatives of the beautiful sex in the best light.

10 Communication Rules with a girl:

Positive attitude.
Stay a man.
Self confidence.
Do not impose.
Surprise.
Make compliments.
The ability to listen and hear.
Active communication.
Comprehensive development.
Dedication.

After reading the rules, you should define the main and half of success in your pocket.

The main secrets of successful communication with the girl:

Installing communication.
Search for hooks.
An interesting topic of conversation.
Do not cheat.
Maintain a conversation.
Interesting questions.
Talk about a girl.
Right pauses.

Also, do not forget that it is important in conversation sincerity and non-verbal impact. The ability to support the conversation, as a word and the case and the look will not leave indifferent not one girl.

Causes of fear of communicating with people and methods to eliminate them

Today there is a type of sociophobia as anthropobia. This is a disease that is accompanied by the obsessive state of fear of people. It lies in the fear of the appearance in the large cluster of the people and in communicating with people. In this case, it is necessary to contact the specialists in such an elimination and treatment.

The main reasons for the occurrence of fear of communication:

Low self-esteem.
The presence of negative experience.
No experience experience.

Determining the reasons, proceed to their liquidation. To begin with, it is necessary to understand and realize the presence of fear, and look at the situation on the part. Adoption of information on the availability of fear will start working on this problem. Here it is necessary to convince itself that it is not an abstract fear, but a false belief of its existence.

Do not forget that the formation of certain qualities, skills and skills of various techniques and communication techniques occurs only with experience. Therefore, you should not be afraid. Start communicating with loved ones or for small audiences, gradually increasing its capabilities.

To be an outsider among normal interlocutors - unbearably. The fear of communicating does not allow neither a pair or at work, nor among friends. But do not rush to despair ...

Wills a pause. It is possible to squeeze out only a confused, silly smile. An awkward silence outside and chaos in the head: how to talk about what to talk about?! so as not to seem ridiculous, obsessive, stupid, funny? From these thoughts are lost even more. In the head becomes completely empty. And the thread of the conversation has already gone - to those who are able to support him.

To be an outsider among normal interlocutors - unbearably. The fear of communicating does not allow neither a pair or at work, nor among friends. But do not rush to despair. Training "System-vector psychology" gives a unique skill to communicate with people easily.

I can not communicate with people: what is the reason?

The main reason why effective communication is not possible, is as follows:

Instead of focusing on the interlocutor, a person is immersed in his thoughts and states, in doubt or fears.

It does not truly turn into a conversation. Sincerely interested in the interlocutor, tune in to his wave. The head is busy exclusively by his "thought thunderstorm."

Our internal conditions interfere with communication:

fear

It happens that it is not clear why, but still scary. Suddenly people will be bored and not interested with me? Suddenly I will show someone funny, stupid, ugly? See, two are talking about something, giggle? This is me about me, I know for sure. It would be necessary to reconcile in that dark angle, away from the eyes, and then - as on x-ray.

stupor

doubts and uncertainty

How to learn to communicate without fear

Strong fear, anxiety, phobias and even panic attacks are familiar only by owners. These are people with a huge emotional range. Their mood in a short time may vary: from the euphoria of happiness to bottomless longing. The root of such special emotional susceptibility lies an innate fear of death.

When a person is closed in fear for himself, his security (physical or psychological) - all thoughts are spinning around it. Possessing a rich imagination, the visitor can even think of what is not at all. For example, that everyone is shook out about him, laugh at it.

The problem is that our condition surrounding is unconsciously trapped through the pheromones. And consciously with this smell it is impossible to control. No perfume will score it - only will strengthen. When we are "smelling fear," then literally attracting those who can humiliate or commerce.

For this reason, the holders of the skin-visual bundle of vectors from childhood may become a victim to which the whole class dischases and aggression resets. Over the years, this scenario becomes usual. And with any attention to its address inside, everything is compressed from fear: now they will beat. Not fists, so words. To humiliate and commerce. How to talk to people to get rid of this fear and feel safe? To begin with - balance your inner state.

When the winner of the visual vectors can focus on the emotions and the states of others, fear goes for itself. Surely you noticed that when you empathize with loved ones or friends - your own pain and fear retreat. There is joy and pleasure. Because it was possible to support the other, to divide his feelings with him. At such a moment the question arises, how to learn to easily communicate with people. All and so it turns out easily and naturally. There is a reason for this: the ability to empathy and compassion and there is a special talent of finely felt spectacles.

When the visual talent is realized - the talent to establish emotional relations with people - the entire range of fear turns into a huge love for people. In sympathy and active assistance.

Our states are instantly captured by surrounding through the pheromones. Realizing his talent, the visual person does not "smell" by fear and does not cause anyone any desire to cause damage. On the contrary, he himself becomes the object of universal love, attraction and admiration.

How to communicate with people: psychology for perfectionist

There are among us people who would like to know the exact rules for the psychology of communication. Because it is terrible to make a mistake. Say something nefple, get to get to disgrace. It is better to ask the council once again at a psychologist than to blush before people. One problem: for each meeting (and even more so on a date) a psychologist will not be able to take. We need an independent skill of communication with people.

The desire to do everything perfectly, without errors and mistakes - the property of people with an anal vector. These are natural perfectionists aimed at respect and honor in society. The opinion of those around them is not an empty sound, but the indicator of its own consistency. It is extremely even thinking about what will be disturbed and you will look like a fool.

An analytical mindset of the mind allows such a person to generalize and systematize information. And the phenomenal memory stores every detail and detail. When these natural talents are implemented in the profession - we see an expert, a professional. Such a person aims to search for the slightest error, performs work perfectly for sure. But when his talents were failed to find social use, they become a source of big problems.

When the tendency to generalize is not used for its intended purpose, we summarize their bad experience. Having survived the treachery - we see a potential traitor in each. Once offended in paired relationships - offended by the opposite sex. The phenomenal memory constantly sends memories of experienced shame and causes the fear of repetition of the situation. Especially if in childhood we were constantly climbed and considered "mummy".

I want to communicate with people - but it does not work. No self-improvement and psychology in exercises and meditations do not help. The psyche hangs such powdered weights that are not allowed to take place among people. As natural houses, in such a situation they simply cease to leave the house.

The awareness of their mental properties and opportunities for their implementation for their intended purpose will remove a huge cargo of internal dissatisfaction. Then it will not be necessary to perceive the interlocutors as "confirmation" of their accumulated offensive and bad experience. Communication with other people will become a light and natural process.

Training on communicating with people for aliens "not from the world of this"

It happens that a person is alien to the usual conversations in the company. He perceives them simply as a mouse from around anything meaningless things. And not surprising: his thoughts are not occupied by not material issues. The owner of nature is directed towards the knowledge of the metaphysical, spiritual - the meaning of life, the purpose of man. He often does not even know what he seeks, just feeling the need to find something more.

Communicative interaction with others is valuable to sound, if you manage to find like-minded people, "brothers in mind", which are also directed to the understanding of the spiritual. In other cases, man gradually closes, ceases to come to contact.

Sometimes soundfish is experiencing special problems in order to convey its unusual thoughts to people. In the head, everything sounds slim and sequentially. And when trying to voice the idea - there are some nephony, broken fragments. Sounds are so immersed in his thoughts and states that is not ready to explain the environment that it is very clear.

Sounds - Natural Egocentric. However, the ability to adequately communicate is a matter of prosperous fate for such a person. When he manages to realize himself in society, we see a brilliant scientist, programmer, musician. If not, depressive states are gradually arising, suicidal thoughts come. In order not to experience difficulties in communication, the sound is necessary to get out of the shell of their own thoughts, and this is possible only to realize the unconscious processes that drive us.

Modern people multi-vector. Interference in communication can be complex and have causes in different vectors and properties of a person's psyche. solves the psychological problems of any complexity. Give yourself a chance to make sure that personal experience.

This is what people who managed to completely get rid of fear of communicating with the help of the training of Yuri Burlana:

"The process of interaction with people came out to a completely different level. I became interested to communicate. I noticed that I would run towards people. What I feel joyful anticipation from communicating with other people. The process of interaction has become so simple and harmonious that I could not believe this miracle ... "

"The interest and desire for communication returned. In the past few years, I was a little bit in society, it was boring and uninteresting, sought to solitude. Live communication preferred books, drawing, yoga ... Naturally realizing that it is not very ... "

The article is written on the materials of the training " System-vector psychology»

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