His surroundings of people sharing it. How does the environment affect the personality structure? Own experience is the best teacher

We are all personality and individuality. Everyone wants to stand out and this desire makes us the same. Few people think that each of us is a collective image of those events that came with us from those people who surrounded us.

Successful businessmen say that you need to communicate with those people who are richer and smarter than us. Psychologists say that you need to reach the one who is better, otherwise you will be trapped in place or to degrade. Is it true?

Tell me who your friend

I confess, I was always interested in people who smarter me. Despite the fact that I consider myself a far-stupid man. Not because it is necessary to communicate only with those who achieved something or knows something more than you. It's just that it is quite a normal condition when you are interested to listen to a smart interlocutor and I want to continue communication with him.

I am deeply convinced that it is always necessary to go ahead, as it is possible to develop in all directions. Another question, in which ways. Lee teachings, reading whether, and maybe personal observations. Everyone chooses for themselves.

Effect of environment per person

And perhaps, I agree with the statement that our environment has a strong impact on our lives. For example, decent anda deeply believer person simply will not be able to make communication for a long time with non-ultimate and primitive people, agree. Or a strong spirit who overcomed a lot of troubles will never understand those who are always unhappy with life and whines because of any little things (with this something does not want to change).

After all, if you rose one step higher - you no longer want back. Otherwise it will be a complete defeat. If you at least once won yourself - this is already a little success. You will hopefully look up and dreaming climb everything higher and higher.

Therefore, it is extremely important among those who have similar goals and desires. After all, it is much easier to go ahead, having at least a few like-minded people.

It is very easy to check. Find a person who acts on your nerves (or you consider it not particularly interesting in communication) and make it specially talking to him for a while. First you will be annoyed, after some time you accept, then you will be easily talking to trivial topics. He will pull you down, and you will not even notice.

Another thing is when you just can not surround yourself with the right people. If you fell into such conditions, it is very important not to succumb to the wave and have your own head on your shoulders, have your point of view - even if you are alone against everyone.

A person is very easy to break, so it is extremely important to have a surroundings that will stimulate you to never stop. And even if you fell - climb and go further. If someone was able - can you not?

No, I don't think I argue - our environment makes us.

In continuation of the topic about the difficulties that lie on the path of personal growth, I will write this note.

A few years ago, during a trip to Kiev, I went to the subway, looked at people and thought about what an interesting phenomenon.

Kiev (Moscow, or any other metropolitan or just a major city) attracts a large number of people. All of them come from smaller cities with different thoughts, hopes and expectations. And as statistics show that from those people who in big cities have achieved success, very large percentage Nonmen, visitors.

When I listen to the stories of the success of stars, businessmen or just successful people, many say that they came without money, without connections, without knowledge, began to spin, to do something, gradually began to tighten cases or work, so gradually, step for Step by step, they grew and achieved what they now have.

These reflections pushed me on what thoughts.

When we arrive in a new place, there it does not hold anything there. On the one hand, we do not always have favorable conditions, and on the other hand, there are no old connections that we were kept in the web and did not allow moving forward.

When we live in a familiar environment, in the one where we were born, went to the garden, then to school, then at the university, even if we grow, then it is not so noticeable. We are surrounded by the same people, the same walls, the same things. And, despite the greatest work done on themselves, we can wake up in the old bed, get things from the old cabinet, from the one that still remembers us the same, go for the old table or work for the old computer. And everyone around will be sick and showing you that you are the former that you have not changed.

This is the difficulty with which people are faced without exception. Environment.

There are two types of affecting environment.

1. The first is people. People who know us for a long time. Our family, friends-comrades, beloved, relatives, colleagues, classmates. And they know and remember us certain. Any change that happens in us either will cause them a negative reaction, because they are accustomed to interacting with us in a certain way, and new behavior, habits, in any way in it. Either they will ignore these changes, continuing in the head to carry a light image of an immense child as we could be in childhood. And even if this child is now the director of the company and manages a team of 300 people, relatives can still call him pepper and watch it, no matter what he could have broken in the kitchen. After all, no wonder there is a proverb "There is no prophet in my fatherland."
2. The second is items, things, the situation, the image, in general, everything that we have and surrounds us. I felt very well on myself when, returning from some next training event, I go into the room and I see everything, that was before my departure. And all this reminds me of me former, and those changes that have just happened in me seem insignificant. And then the question arises - why is it all? Why all this growth, if nothing long is delayed?

When I realized this situation, I understood that those people who leaving are much easier to grow and develop. They do not prevent them and does not pull the ballast back. They are free in the new choice and movement. And when they are later returning home, then this is not the former Tanya, Petta, and Tatyana Sergeyevna and Petra Anatolyevich, important bosses living in the capital. Of course, friends-relatives and in this case will try to draw you back to the old image of behavior, but it will not be so confident and not so cheekily. Because you have a tougher position, and you understand what you know and know how to present more than each of them.

Well, what if it is not possible to leave to another city, to grow beautifully and develop the best qualities in yourself? I found such a way out for myself. Every time I feel that working on myself: Or I realized something about myself on psychotherapy, or did some serious act, earlier I do not understand, or reacted in a new way and got a new experience, I try to find This state is a positive reinforcement. Maybe I wanted to change the situation or the image every time so that the reinforcement was as radical as possible, but I can do without such serious measures.

I hang pictures, slogans, reminders in the room, fixing in the diary in the records, celebrated in a cafe, that is, show myself that I change. I fix it at the level of emotions, and at the level of sensations. And then it is easier for me to understand that the work is still going. There is still an option - to make entries in the "Diary of a new behavior". I have such a section in a personal diary. Here I record all my victories on myself, new experiences, new behavior, successes, and here I can see the dynamics of growth. And then, when I have a period of decline and disappointment in the process, I open this diary and see documented traces of my new life. It returns me to reality and gives strength to new achievements.

No man appears in our life just like that. Everyone is absolutely each! - brings with him some lesson, useful to us at this stage of our life. However, most often we do not understand.

People, located in our environment, are reflection We themselves. Many, of course, will not agree with this statement, but, nevertheless, it is. Everything happens on the principle of the law of attraction: we attract in his life of those people, which something similar to us. If we are very annoyed in someone's certain character traits - this means that the same features are in our own. A person, as it were, is our reflection and shows that it is necessary to take on themselves, on what to work. If we work out this quality and exempt from them, then our stimulus disappears from our life or changes, because we change ourselves.

So, how do we work on what is so annoying?

First of all, highlight the person in its surroundings, which most all acts annoyingly and define what the features are annoyed in it - thereby you will understand what exactly it reflects in you yourself and what you should work.

After you have decided on, you need to thank your teacher. The man sent to you for a certain lesson, which is necessary for you to improve, grew, developed, studied, and therefore you need to be grateful for what he came into your life. Even if the lesson who brings with him this person is very painful and cruel.

Next comes the most difficult thing - you need to accept the fact that this annoying trait is also in you. As a rule, many react approximately like this: "Well nonsense! I don't have this! " However, do not rush immediately deny. This man appeared in your life - therefore, it is he who needs you in this life stage. Therefore, instead of going away from the problem, try to remember all your actions, the thoughts in which the trait that annoys you in the other is displayed.

For example, you are incredibly annoying the misfortune of your friend - you may, so you show that you are stingy towards ourselves (save on your health, development, you feel sorry to spend money for yourself to new clothes, etc.).

Or, let's say, a person appeared in your environment, watering all and everything - it can reflect your negative thoughts about other people (even if you never voiced them) or what you often scold yourself.

Another example: Your buddy entered dishonestly - did not fulfill the promise given to you, because of what you were in a very awkward situation. Even if you always hold the word you given to other people, then think about: is this man a pointer to the fact that the promises that you give yourself, as a rule, remain unfulfilled?

Another example: Your man lost, as you think, your masculinity and somehow climbed - this indicates that you yourself have become less feminine and manifest male qualities more than it would be.

A welding neighbor can reflect your too demanding attitude to close or subordinate;

the rudeness of the driver in the transport that you get to work reflects your own desire to silent someone, even if you suppress this desire;

the inorganization of colleagues for work can serve as a reflection of the fact that you often take care of several cases immediately and do not bring one to the end. The list of examples may be long ...

In a word, we will think that it is trying to draw your attention through the stimulus that came to your life.

(to be continued)

Our environment affects our lives.

Bodo Schaffer somehow said that you will earn so much money as the average will be the average earnings of 5 of your nearest friends! I was first shocked at first, I did not believe. But then she began to notice, it is worth married to one girlfriend, then the chain reaction begins and everyone else begins to marry one after another. It is worth one to get pregnant, and others also report about their pregnancy after a while.

It is only for someone from the environment to buy a car, and in the heads of others already formed the thought that since he could and I can.

It turns out the same thing happens with the earning of wealth. I don't really want to throw your friends from being a material condition, but you can help them support, submit an example.

Just communicating with people who hate their work, you will be more approved in the thoughts that you have no choice, and everyone lives.

But communicating with those who are passionate about their activities, the fan of their business, you will be strengthened in faith that the work and pleasure are quite compatible things.

If one of your surroundings begins to become successful, then either others are tightened to it and begin to earn more more, or it falls out of this environment. He becomes a "strangers", ceases to be his own.

Also, the man who abused alcohol, no longer fits into the former company, he is already extra. And his friends can follow his example, which is unlikely. They can drag him back, he can start drinking again.

So our environment plays an important role. When we begin to change and improve our lives, it may face the resistance of our environment. It is quite painful.

All my girlfriends worked. All my aunts worked. My moms and sisters also worked on hired work. And I decided to settle at home and start looking for a matter of my soul. I wanted to get, but my surroundings did not take it, I had to face discontent and condemnation, disapproval on their part.

I stopped calling, and stopped visiting, after a couple of scandals. It is good that we began to live separately with my husband. My husband supports me, but I had to try to see how good at home when my wife was not working. These are hot dinners, shirts, order. good mood.

So for the sake of their success and prosperity, changes for the better will have to work hard, you will have to donate something. Listen to those whom you respect and want to be similar to them, earn as much, have the same lifefile.

If you go about your surroundings and give up, then you will live such a life as they. It is not bad, and quite normal, but only accept it and do not complain, but rejoice in life.

If you have chosen the path of change, then overcome the resistance. Try to listen to yourself more, and do not go about other people. Go only for your dreams and goals.

If your loved ones, spouse or spouse do not support you. So you are to blame for yourself. Perhaps you do not fulfill your duties. Perhaps you yourself do not support them. Learn to invest in your relationship, improve them, strive to establish a connection with them, and then they will go to the edge of the world.

Still do not discuss your dreams and plans with negative people, as well as with people who do not support you. They are their doubt and disbelief can affect your faith and success and self-esteem, they can kill hope for the best. In general, it is better not to talk anything about that. First do, and then say.

Sometime I heard such a phrase: "Everything affects everything." I wondered! And then I was told or I read somewhere: "Your environment affects you." Those. That circle of communication with which you constantly touch, has a huge impact on you. Perhaps you didn't even suspect or give this value, but it is so! The power of influence of our environment on us is huge! And it is not always influence - contributes to us. From the moment I heard it, I began to watch myself. And you know - it really is! I was deeply amazed by this.

GMM. And where to take these richest and successful in your surroundings?

Have you ever thought about how other people form your life? The influence of those who surround us is so powerful, so subtle and constantly that we often cannot even imagine how much it affects us.

Let's think about it. If people are surrounded by people who are in the bulk of their mass, hired workers, what are your chances to become a successful entrepreneur? Or people who fully spend all their income, then you have a chance to become a wasteful person. Or if people are surrounded by people who do not read books, your chances that you will not do it either increase.

But this influence can come even further. If people are surrounded by people who believe that there is nothing terrible if we gradually deceive others, then they can also convince you to bypass some rules. People slowly knock you down from the true path, while once, in 10 years, you do not ask yourself: "How did I get in that position?" And this moment, I think it will be not very joyful for you.

I want to tell my memories from childhood and youth. For quite a long time I grew up and walked in the company where the main occupation was to smoke hemp and drink vodka. And with such an environment, I myself had not become an alcoholic or addict. Many thanks to my father, who in those years, beat off the desire to do all of this. However, the majority of my friends and spoke, became drug addicts, etc.

To avoid empty spending time in the company inappropriate people, ask yourself 3 questions:
1. What people do I spend your time? Among what people do I find?
2. What do they come to me? What do they do for me?
3. Is communication with them useful for me? I like it?

After answering these questions, appreciate the time you spend with each of your friends, is it positive and constructive or the opposite? If you find it difficult to answer, then think about such questions.
- What did these people advise you to read or listen?
- Where did they recommend you to visit?
- What made you think?
- How they influenced your conversations, feelings, etc.

Also there is another one, I would say, the "control" question that will help you: "Help my present familiar move and grow in the direction I chose, putting a target?"

Are there people who condemn you for your dream, are there people who want to steal your dream? It is very easy to allow someone else's influence formed your life.

After you have made such a mini-analysis of your environment, you, dear reader, will arise the next question is: "What to do if there are people in my surroundings who really do not contribute to my growth and movement towards?"

Recommendations may be several:
First, you can just part with them. Although the word "just", I probably used in vain. Sometimes it happens not easy, especially if it concerns members of your family or close friends. Of course, in some cases it is impossible to do this at all, but try to limit communication with such people, minimize.

Easy to remain a mediocre person, all that is required for this is to spend your main time for minor things with minor people.

Secondly, it may turn out that 90% will need to abandon communication with your environment. Who then to communicate with? To do this, it is necessary to expand your communication. Those. Get acquainted and spend more time with the right people. And who are these right people? It depends on your goals and objectives. In my opinion, these are people who think about the meaning of life, live every minute with akin to the alignment, are constantly being improved personally and spiritually, etc.

Perhaps someone will seem that it is difficult to get acquainted with such people. I will tell you how I do it.
When I decided to make creating my own business, I became a partner of Holding Glorion. Holding suits quite often all sorts of training events. And so, one of these events called the leader's forum, I went. It was in February of this year, in Egypt. There were more than 400 people, as well as the founders of the holding and the president. This gave me the opportunity for 10 days to communicate with people who achieved a lot in this business. I received a charge of motivation, energy, learning. Thus, I was all this time, surrounded by the "right" for me.
And in fact, thanks to this business, my circle of "right" people is constantly expanding.

Similarly, if you want to improve your health, find those people who have this health in excellent shape and which constantly support it. Sign up in fitness club, swimming pool, etc. For example, I have recently started doing yoga. I wrote down to the Yoga School and do there. And in turn, I will expand dating in this area, I communicate with people who have long been doing, they give recommendations, suggest, advise.

Similarly, from any other sphere you can find the "right" people who will best contribute to your growth and promotion.

In conclusion of today's release, I want to tell you a story about a little bird. She cried, closing the wing of the eye. Owl asked her: "Are you crying? Why? Because, the big bird pecks into the eye? "
And the little bird answered her:
"No, I pay, not because the big bird pecks me in the eye. I cry because I let her do it. "

It is easy to allow the circumstances to sculpt our life, and others to solve for us where we go. Let others live unworthy, but not you. Let others argue on trifles, but not you. May others entrust their future in other people's hands, but not you.

Dmitry Miroshnik