Complete guide to self-confidence. How to be confident

There is an opinion that self-confidence is something more than just knowledge and skills. Of course, this is not quite the case, however, in this thoughts there are grain of truth. A confident person is easier to get what he wants, while doubtfulness and postponus are characteristic.

We every day, every hour and every minute we decide how to behave. And if not to do this consciously, we will only respond to the circumstances and the requirements of other people. Confidence is necessary in order to know what you want and take all possible actions to get the desired one.

If you do not feel confidence, then automatically become insecure. It may seem that calm and dimension is what is between confidence and uncertainness, but in fact they are precisely part of confidence.

Imagine confidence as some desire, on the way to which there is an obstacle - external or internal. Internal may be fear or doubt. External - lack of money or experience. But even in this case, speech is still going, rather, about internal obstacles. You see the goal, but afraid of imaginary pain, which you imagine, and invent dozens of reasons why you cannot achieve it.

This article is a guide for confidence for anyone who wants to believe in yourself and get rid of fears. Or at least start to act without regard to them.

Self-esteem and self-confidence

Self-assessment is a representation of a person about the importance of his personality, evaluating himself and its own feelings and qualities, advantages and disadvantages. There are three levels of self-esteem: understated, adequate and overestimated.

With understated self-esteem, the person is inclined to criticize himself (and even when it is inappropriate), it is criticized in his address to perceive painfully, to please another for the sake of improving their self-esteem.

Heavy self-esteem is the opposite of the affected. Often related to the exception of oneself and its merit, inadequate assessment of its own significance, etc. Heavy self-esteem, if it is fed not only by imagination, but also real qualities and successes, not always a negative phenomenon. A man with overwhelmed self-esteem can be as self-confident (that is bad) and driving (which is good). In the last state, he really believes in his strength that he gets a pretty share of motivation and even good luck, because of which he gets everything, for which he has taken.

Adequate self-esteem is an ideal state for professionals of their business, people of non-slipping and knowledgeable price. Possessing this level of self-esteem, a person can learn from his mistakes, normally perceive criticism and gradually move towards success.

Considering the foregoing, it is necessary to understand that adequate self-esteem is good, but relevant overestimated self-esteem also happens quite by the way. Miracles happen at the balance between them.

Factors that affect self-confidence

Factors that affect our self-esteem and self-confidence are also internal and external. But since they often intersect and form each other, we will consider them together.

People around

Successful, self-confident people avoid pessimists or those who constantly doubt. They like no other understand that the environment affects how the person thinks. Therefore, the rule is first: surround yourself with confident people.

Lack of sleep and improper nutrition

It is difficult to imagine a confidently rock person who does not eat and does not pay attention to his health. You can do how much self-compensation as you like, but if the body brings you, it will affect.

A person who slept poorly cannot be confident for the reason that it takes a great power of will. The power of the will is the energy that should be precipitated by sleeping and rest.

Will strength level

If you ever fought with you, getting rid of a bad habit or putting a good, and lost, then you know that in 50% of cases it happened due to lack of willpower. It is needed in order to wake up in the morning, asking himself a question "As far as I am confident?" And having received the answer is "absolutely not sure", you could instantly take yourself in hand and start fulfilling recommendations (which will be discussed later).

It turns out a vicious circle. You can not become confident because you are not sure of yourself. Exit a closed circle will help the Will Force training. You can instantly welcome, feel faith in your strength, if you really want it. It's like in the case when you lie without the strength on the bed after work, and then get an invitation to a classroom and forces instantly appear. The fact is that they did not disappear.

The power of the will allows you to access internal strength. We just want to want.

Hinge competence / confidence

Psychologists have long noticed one interesting pattern. The more the person is engaged in any activity, the more confident becomes. From this follows two outputs: good and not very. A good comes down to the fact that confidence will appear if you begin to acquire experience and raise a professional level. Not very good - that this will take time.

But in this case we are talking about the very pure self-confidence. About the one that becomes your second nature.

Level of fear and doubt

Carefully follow yourself. The next time you feel the uncertainty, listen, what exactly feel. Most likely, it will be fear or doubt. Therefore, the first step is the ability to recognize them and honestly admit yourself that you are afraid or doubt.

Fears and doubts are accompanied by alone and the same thoughts or questions. For example:

• What if you refuse?
• What if I can't work?
• I can not.
• All anything, just not that.

We are afraid of pain, often contrived. Ask yourself other questions, preferably in writing. Analyze why you think this is. Is everything really so bad?

Inner voice

What words do you say yourself right after awakening? What words do you tell yourself when go to bed? What words do you tell yourself when a collision with difficulties?

Stress and pressure

Inability to fight stress and pressure can kill confidence. It is important not only to deal with them, but also to notice them in time. If it is difficult to notice, then plan a mini-rest. You are not mistaken in such things - the voltage will still arise.

How to improve self-confidence

Considering all of the above, we will proceed to the way, with the help of which it turns out to develop confidence.

Get ready. Relying on the expression can be relying only in unforeseen situations, in all the rest you should carefully prepare. The speaker should examine his speech and work out gestures, but at the same time must learn a lot for more information - Just in order to increase the level of competence. A businessman should not only know how to create a company, but also to understand the characteristics of the manufactured goods, marketing, sales. Confidence is born from the preparation and understanding that you know enough.

Use the right body language. Enter in Google Power Pose, go to the section with pictures and practice some strong poses. If some of them seem too pretentious you, do a minimum - do not hurt, look straight into the eyes of the interlocutor, relax your body.

Pay attention to the voice. When you mumble or speak uncertainly, there is a conversation between you and the interlocutor at an intuitive level: you know what he knows that you are not confident. Why do you get rudely. Do not be loud or quiet, do not tarators, control your voice.

Develop optimism and positive thinking. This means that you must develop a certain attitude towards your failures and errors. As soon as the failures stop you worry, half of the case is made. Be persistent.

Vicarial learning. This is observing the achievements of others. This comes here as work with successful people, masters of their affairs and reading biographies. Do not be broken by any of these methods. So you can see how people cope with the difficulties that you encounter.

Verbal belief. Oddly enough, but even the banal idea "Come on, you can" much more efficiently than the course of thoughts that catches fear. If you highlight the time to talk with yourself at least a few minutes, the effect will be even stronger. It is important to understand that such phrases should become a habit, and not used from the case.

Increase emotional intellect. A confident man will never experience inappropriate situations. It fully controls what he feels and does not allow negative and destructive emotions to caustize himself by surprise.

Action, action, action. Take yourself in your hands and start doing something. At the same time, it practically no matter how valuable these actions are. You can pour plants in the house and feel a huge tide of strength and energy. You noticed that when you don't do anything, you're still stronger? When we are not confident in ourselves, we can't take a job and bring at least something to the end. You need complete affairs, you need to show yourself that you can.

Find out yourself. Before joining the battle, the wise general carefully studies his enemy. You cannot defeat the enemy without knowing it. In the development of self-confidence your main enemy is you yourself. Start listening to your thoughts. Start writing a magazine about what you think, analyze the causes of negative thoughts. And then think about the good in yourself, about what you can do better than many people about what you like. Start reflecting on your limitations and whether they are real. .

Focus on solving problems. If you are a complainant or focus on problems, change your focus of your attention. Concentration on solutions instead of problems is one of the best things you can do for confidence.

Clear the workplace. It may seem insignificant, but just do it. Insecurity comes from confusion, do not add it to your life although at the physical level.

Features of confidence men and women

For men, self-confidence is the ability to act, commit confident and measured actions, achieve skill in something. Men motivates the achievement of goals, success, it is important for its specific dimension.

Women enhance self-confidence with self-esteem, as well as inner gloves. If men sometimes are enough to behave confidently and get a tide of strength with actions and actions, then women all begins from the inside.

A woman will not be able to feel confident if he does not feel comfort in a situation. Holding the world inside, she is able to believe in itself. At the same time, for women, tremendous importance are external factorswhich are then comprehended inside: its appearance, gait obtained by compliments.

Speaking about self-esteem as the main acting person of female self-confidence, it is worth saying that it is formed from many factors: dependence, social concern, overall concern, shame, depression, inferiority, helplessness, perfectionism (and its consequences - procrastinations).

There are several ways with which you can enhance your self-esteem:

• Change the story. We all have an idea of \u200b\u200bthemselves, which forms our self-perception and on which our main image is based. If we want to change it, we must understand where it comes from. Is this our personal opinion? Sometimes automatic negative thoughts, such as "you are fat" or "you are lazy," can be repeated in consciousness so often that a person begins to believe that they are true, even if it is not. But what do you really want to believe? Repeat it yourself every day.
• Be conscious. We can't change something until we admit that it needs a change. Just aware of our negative self-regulation, we begin to distance themselves from the feelings that it causes. This allows you to identify with them to a lesser extent. But without this awareness, we can easily get into the trap of faith in our limited potential, and how the meditation teacher Allan Lokos is burning: "Do not believe everything you think. Thoughts are just thoughts. "
• Set up a new channel. Albert Einstein somehow said: "Each of us is a genius. But if you judge the fish for her ability to climb the tree, then she will live all his life, believing that stupid. " We all have strong and weaknesses. Someone can be a brilliant musician, but a terrible chef. No quality defines your basic value. Admit what your strengths are. Ask yourself: "Have you been my life situation when my self-esteem rises? What did I do / did at this moment? ".
• Remember that you are not a product of circumstances. Taking your imperfection, you create potential for growth. With this knowledge you can grow freely, and not be afraid of failures that do not change the basic value.

What books can be read

To develop confidence and make it the quality of personality, you need to work well on yourself. To do this, it is necessary not only every day to follow these advice, but also analyze yourself, do not stop in cultivation, read books on this topic. Here is some of them:

• Dale Carnegie "How to generate confidence and influence people, speaking publicly."
• Robert Anthony "Secrets self-confidence."
• Alice Muir "Confidence in yourself. Book for work on yourself. "
• Amy Cuddy "Presence of Spirit."
• Malcolm Gladwell "David and Goliath"

We can also recommend you video with Tony Robbins, which you can find on YouTube: Please note that he says, as he says and how he behaves. Robbins can become an excellent role-playing model for many who want to be confident.

We wish you good luck!

§ 4. The needs of a person. Learning to reflect

What is activities? What are the distinctive features of human activity?
Let's discuss together
Lives in the world. Everything has it. Everything suits him, he does not dream of anything, he does not seek anything. He just lives and does nothing. This situation looks almost fantastic. Why?
What are the needs
Mobile phone, computer and TV, plane and car ... Everything was once in the wonder. Before these items appear, a person calmly did without them. But as they applied, won the living space, the man more and more needed them, they became more and more necessary for him. It takes for a while, and a person no longer represents his life without achievements!
The world changes, human needs change. A person understands that there is something, without which it will be difficult for him, it is almost impossible to do. And he begins to take some steps to get the right one.
For example, you heard about the new film. You really wanted to see him. What will you do? Ask parents to buy a movie disk? Take it from friends? Use the Internet? Will you go to the cinema? In any case, you will not sit back. In other words, it is the need for a person to act.
A person needs air, water, food, warmth, sleep, rest. He cares about how to survive himself and continue his genus. These are biological needs. Such needs still relate to physiological or material.
But in order to become a person, take their place in society, this is clearly not enough. Therefore, they talk about social needs: Communication needs, in labor. A person will not be happy if he does not be able to realize his abilities, will not find his place in life.
A person is experiencing spiritual needs for knowing the world around, gaining knowledge and skills achieving harmony and beauty.
Needs arise again and again. With a change in life, people appear new needs and new ways to satisfy them. Needs are largely determined by the conditions in which a person lives. This also applies to biological needs. Hunger, regardless of which society a person lives, should be thicken, that is, you need to eat. But what and how? At the table with the help of a knife and forks to eat deliciously cooked food or eat raw meat? Agree, there is a difference.
No need is impossible to satisfy once and for all. She arises again, forcing a person to create new opportunities for her satisfaction.
Needs act as the motives of activities, induces a person to plan their actions and take certain efforts.
Lived in the world
An eleven-year-old boy Jean Francois Champolon (1790-1832) first saw the ancient Egyptian inscriptions and realized that their decoding would be the matter of his life. He studied ancient history and ancient languages.
After many years of work on the inscription on Rosett Schampolone, found a key to reading the hieroglyphic letter of the ancient Egyptians. Already at seventeen, he made his first report on ancient Egypt at a meeting of the scientific society. But the main event in his life occurred 15 years later: he opened the method of reading ancient Egyptian writing.
What made the Shampolon act? Is it possible to say that the decryption of ancient Egyptian letter has become a vital need for him? It is important so much that he could not calmly live and feel happy? Imagine that he could not achieve the intended. How would this affect his life?
The needs of a person are individual. Another ancient Greek philosopher Socrates said: "I eat to live. And some people live to eat. " It is unlikely that these people can be said that they have a rich spiritual world.
The society generates certain human needs, which, in turn, influence the development of society itself.
So, children with disabilities and special needs require special care from others. For this, special educational institutions (classes, groups), ensuring their treatment, upbringing and training.
The spiritual world is the inner world of man, the world of his thoughts and feelings. It is formed in the process of satisfying spiritual needs, i.e. in the process of knowledge (acquisition of knowledge). The spiritual world of each person is unique. Spiritually rich man is committed to new knowledge.
The world of thoughts
How? Why? Could it be otherwise? What is the reason? What are the consequences possible? How often is a person asks these questions! You probably also had to think about them. Remember when it happened. Maybe when he could not perform homework? Or did not understand the explanation of the new material in the lesson? Or thought about a gift for a friend? In any case, you came across some kind of problem that required the decision.
But it was not easy to find it. Such situations make people think, generate certain thoughts. In Russian, this word is denoted as the process of reasoning, reflections and its result. Thoughts are an important component of a human spiritual world; The ability to think is a distinctive feature of a person. The content of human thinking mainly make up concepts, judgments, conclusion. The thought that distinguishes the totality of objects according to their common features is called the concept.
Remember, for example, from a biology course, what general signs are inherent in living organisms.
Using various concepts, a man expresses his thoughts. A statement containing a certain thought is called judgment. Among the judgments there are those who became proverbs, folk wisdom: "The root of the teaching of the town, and the fruit of his sweets", "death seven times - a rejection once." Of several logically related judgments, you can withdraw a new judgment - conclusion. For example, "ABC - to wisdom step. But not everyone who reads in reading the power knows. To become wise, you need to read thoughtfully, think about read. "
Reflecting on the problem, solving a solution - a difficult occupation. Than stronger man He wants to achieve the intended Delhi, the more tense this process. When a person thinks he is completely absorbed by thought, focused.
World of feelings
Various events in the life of a person, actions of other people, the world In general, they force a person not only to think about what is happening, but and somehow express their feelings, its attitude towards something.
Love and joy, respect and admiration, grief, anger, fear ... Feelings of people are diverse and individual. They are always aimed at some subject. There are no good respect or just love. Feelings are manifested in relation to someone (parents, friends, teachers) or something (homeland, beloved lesson).
The same event causes different people Different feelings. It all depends on how important it is for this person. For example, the library's closure will remain not seen for the one who is not passionate about reading, but will become an unpleasant event for who is used to take a new book there.
Emotions are distinguished from feelings. Emotions determine the mood of a person at a particular moment. The mood can be cheerful or sad, depressed or raised. It is always caused by some reasons: the resulting mark, begging with a friend, read by the film. Good or bad mood It affects the behavior of a person, its attitude to what is happening events. The same event a person can perceive in different ways depending on the mood. For example, even such a trifle, as a cup broken by you, will cause different emotions from Mom, depending on how her working day passed.
Among the feelings, the special group make up the highest feelings. These include moral (sense of debt, justice, indignation, dishonest act, love for work), aesthetic (sense of pleasure, joy from communication with beautiful - nature, works of art) and intellectual feelings (experiences associated with the knowledge of the surrounding world).
The feeling gives rise to thought, the thought becomes a feeling, they influence the deeds of a person. A spiritually rich man has a sense of debt, justice. He will not leave unnoticed dishonest act. Love for truth, the desire to learn a new one makes a person work hard, overcome difficulties.
Consider the reproduction of the picture, imagine that her heroes spoke. What could each of them say? Why do you say that?
Travel into the past
One of the most sad pages of the story of the Great Patriotic War 1941-1945 - Leningrad blockade. All 900 days Scientists of the All-Union Institute of Crops were protected by a unique collection of seeds collected from all over the world by academician
N. I. Vavilov. Bombings and art robes, hunger and cold seemed to have experienced people's strength. Especially painful was hunger. And there were boxes with wheat, rice, beans, buckwheat. Stretch your hand, take, throw in the pot, Swari and eat ... But exhausted hunger, dying people did not eat a single border. The invaluable collection was saved.
What can be said about these people, about their spiritual world? What thoughts and feelings caused this story?
Check yourself
1. What is the need?
2. What needs is a person?
3. How does the individual nature of the needs manifest?
4. What is the spiritual world of man?
5. What is thinking?
6. What is the feelings of a person differ from his emotions?
In class and houses
1. The first museum of our country was the famous Kunstkamera in St. Petersburg. At the first time of the museum, all visitors on the orders of Peter I handed out a free treat. What do you think the emperor issued such an order?
2. M. Yu. Lermontov wrote in his poem: "And boring and sad, and a certain hand to give ..."
What kind of dissatisfied need of a person goes on?
3. Tsar Lydia Kröz was considered the richest man in the world. Once he had the Athenian Sage Solon. The kröz asked who he considers the happiest man in the world. What was his surprise when, instead of the expected answer, he heard the following: "The most happy on this earth was the Athenian Telle. He was not too rich, but not
too poor, calmly engaged in his business and did not fear and hunger, he had good, reasonable children, and he died in battle, defending his state. " Then Solon added that it is about such fate every Greek dreams. Why was the crown disappointed with this answer? Think what was most appreciated in the life of the Greeks. How does this characterize their needs?
4. When excavations of the palace of one of the pharaohs Ancient Egypt Archaeologists discovered a richly decorated room with a strange inscription at the entrance "Pharmacy of the Soul".
What do you think I was hiding behind this door? Explain the inscription on the plate. What would you put in such a "pharmacy"?
5. Who from famous people of our time could you say that he has a rich inner spiritual world? Why?
6 *. Find on the Internet information about the meaning of the phrase "Inclusive Education". Think about how you, with your friends you can help children with disabilities.
Learning to reflect
1. Get used to ask yourself questions: why? How? What are the reasons? What are the consequences? Why were the results obtained?
2. Analyzing the problem, draw conclusions.
3. Do not take your abilities.
4. Learn to focus on the necessary subject, disconnecting from the total outsider.
5. Do not be asked to ask questions.
6. Be sure

Modern person is important to be able to concisely and clearly express opinions. After all, it is difficult to assess the genius of the idea if its creator is not in a state of competently present the essence of words, to convey to the opponent the main idea. This is important for representatives of those professions whose work is related to people.

Competently set speech helps to make a positive impression on the interlocutor.

Oratoric art is easier to master if it is divided into the task for two stages. The first is dedicated to how to learn to express their thoughts correctly. The second is how to competently speak, expressing in a simple language.

• Expansion of the vocabulary stock. Formulate the essence of the conversation or a separate offer first mentally, and then tell the books orally. Classical artistic, scientific and journalistic literature will not only replenish the vocabulary, but also expand the horizons.
• Memory training. Very often, in a conversation, the interlocutor cannot pick up the right word. Many options are spinning in the head, and the desired, as it is called, is forgotten. Quarterly, combinations of numbers are suitable for memory training.
• The ability to concentrate on a specific thought. This is important in order to clearly and clearly reproduce the meaning. In this case, it is useful before talking to ask yourself a few questions - which (what will be spent), where and when (details), why (the ultimate goal of the conversation).

When the thoughts are put in order, their speric abilities should be improved.

Concentration of attention

For the speaker, not only the ability to concentrate at the right moment, but also be able to keep the attention of the listeners to the end of the speech. What way to cause interest and take possession of the audience to the audience will tell the science of rhetoric.

To learn how to manage your own attention, apply a simple technique. First, workouts can be carried out in silence, then complicate the process, doing the same in a crowded place or on the street. The art of concentration is exhausted with yoga.

The purpose of the methodology is to learn how to focus on a certain image, being in any conditions. For this you need:

• mentally speak the word, for example, the table;
• comprehend its value (for which you need a table where you can put it);
• visualize the image (clearly present the design of the table, its color, size, location in the room, other details).

In the course of the exercise, distracting factors arise - outsided sounds, actions of people, so on. It is necessary to hold your attention on a thoughtful word for a few minutes, periodically repeating it. First, it is recommended to train at home. Concentrate attention on the street or in a crowded place is much more complicated. However, having mastered this skill, a person will be able to freely formulate the thought, in the future - clearly states meaning, competently and convincingly speak.

Components of beautiful speech

A public speech is considered successful if the speaker's speech possesses the following characteristics:

Working out each component individually, it should be remembered for self-confidence during a conversation.

Techniques for the development of eloquence

Skills of free speech helps oratory skills and rhetoric. Confidently keep in front of the public and act before the numerous audience of listeners are taught in the courses of acting skills. In practical classes, they work out diction, stage speech, intonation. If the concepts of oratory and acting are clear, the value of rhetoric causes some questions.

Rhetoric is a scientific theory, the study of which allows you to master oratory. This philological discipline is mandatoryly studying all actors, public figures and other specialists whose profession is related to public speeches. Rhetoric examines the impact provided by the speaker speech on the opponent.

It is possible to improve the dicciation using patterned and special speech therapy gymnastics. Species first pronounce slowly, in syllables, gradually increasing the pace and adding intonation. In addition to diction, it trains memory. Charging for the study of the speech apparatus consists of simple exercises:

• The tongue is touched by the tongue to the sky, reach the base of the language, to the inside of each cheek.
• Run all vowels, pulling lips.
• Stretch hissing consonants, sound "p".

What will help speak competently and beautiful

The ability to correctly and integrate thoughts can be developed by passing the course of speaking skills. Listening to several lectures, you can learn how to learn eloquence. Alone to develop the skills will help:

• Record your own speech on the voice recorder. When listening, you can make an objective assessment by speaking speech, take into account the shortcomings, correct errors.
• Games using different words, descriptions (selection of synonyms, characteristics of objects);
• structuring speech. When speaking or in a regular conversation, highlights should be allocated, clearly and clearly formulate secondary information, lower unnecessary details.
• An increase in the active lexicon. Every day you need to select 2-3 words that are rarely used in everyday speech, and actively use them in a conversation.
• Control of gestures and facial expressions. Inability to correctly formulate thought leads to excessive gesticulation and facial expressions during the conversation. Need to get rid of this harmful habitwhich distracts from the main thought causes an irritation of the opponent. Developed facial facial helps more convincingly act before the audience. Washable the art of speech is useful in front of the mirror.
• Self confidence. It is important to learn how to control your own emotions, to cope with the excitement, which arises before a public speech. Speak convincingly, only a speaker is capable of self, which is confident.

It is important to express your point of view so that the opponent is clear what is being discussed. Therefore, it is better to speak simple language without using complex speech turns and scientific terms.

Proper, competent speech is the basis of mutual understanding and the main information exchange tool between people, which is used in professional activity and in everyday communication. Skills of oral presentation of the idea and laconic transmission of the meaning are important for representatives of professions related to the service sector, trade and other areas.

I continue to share with you experience and reflections on the topic of success. Reading a lot of literature on this issue, I came to the conclusion that another "clavicle", on the way to the desired goal, is confidence.

The very motivation, which we discussed in, prompts the actions, contributes to the achievement of the result, however, if a person is not confident in itself, the effectiveness of this result is reduced or depreciated.

In order to make sure the correctness of their reflection, I found one person who turned out to be a psychologist - Lily Glazunova.

A little talked and decided to hire a small article, my first reflections on this topic I, it, so to speak, continued)))

Did the experienced specialist confirmed my guesses? Secret! Just kidding, of course, I will tell you about it, but a little later. And now I propose to return to the topic of the article and designate its goal.

So, our current goal is to find out how to develop confidence in yourself, and appreciate even the smallest achievements.

Confidence in yourself - what is it and why his role is so important?

"Confidence is a personality property that allows a person to positively assess his own skills and abilities," there was a psychologist's response to my first question.

But, returning to the beginning of the article, was my guess right, that a uncertain person lowly estimates his achievements?

Of course yes. Even with a high result, an uncertain person always doubts, Did he do everything right?

Is this all his merit, or a simple coincidence? Do you like the result of his activities others or not?

Of course, such questions sometimes ask each of us. But if a person thinks so much, and is afraid to do something "wrong", follows urgently take measures To get rid of uncertainty.

The consequences of uncertain behavior violate the entire social life of not only the person himself, but also his children.

Such an individual can not defend his point of view, it is afraid to enter into discussions, even if competent in the question, trying to be a "invisible mouse" in society.

This behavior is assisted by his children, as a result, starting with kindergartenThere are difficulties in communicating and interaction with peers.

The facts below are not the entire list of consequences, but they are enough to understand how important it is in modern society to be confident.

Exercises for the development of self-confidence

Confidence is not a type of temperament that is given to us from birth and does not change throughout life. it property of personality It is amenable to adjustment, with the help of external (society in which you are, family) and internal (willpower, the desire to change yourself) factors.

Below is a liver of exercises that Lilia has provided for our attention. I tried some on myself, and I can say that some of them are light, some are complex, and require the involvement of internal resources, but most importantly - they act, and help the development of confidence and decisiveness, although I think with me and so full order)))

Tip! So that the habit of saying "I" has developed faster, put an ordinary stationery gum into my hand. Each time you generalize again to "We", delay the gum and click yourself on the wrist.

The brain quickly cares that when using certain words to him "hurt", and further construction of proposals will be carried out without them.

What helps me maintain confidence

Analyzing the arguments of Lilies, I realized that the sense of confidence largely depends on the environment in which we are. Loving family that supports you, respects, appreciates. Friends who listen to your opinion.

Parents who need your society and help. All these components affect our sense of confidence, strengthening it, or reducing, depending on the circumstances. I am very glad that my surrounding only helps to be strong and confident, but of course, only this source is not exhausted.

I also use the following techniques for the development of confidence and calm:

• Transfer to paper. It happens, there are situations or people who are trying to drive me into the framework of uncertainty. In such cases, coming home, I pour this situation on paper. Sometimes writing, sometimes draw. After that, ack of a leaflet or a rally of it, and burning in ash. Together with the glowing paper, the negative feelings, which gave rise to this situation.
• I am looking for ways to turn "no" in "yes." Our society still lives stereotypes, and as soon as someone moves away from the generally accepted rules (this refers to anything since behavior, ending with construction), he is immediately trying to disperse in their capabilities.
  My advice to you, stay away from such people and embody your dream. Alien "It is impossible!" Does not stop your plan if you do not want it yourself. Proved on a personal example. Skeptics simply overcame, especially "experienced", those that the fence can not correct, what to talk about buildings ...
• Failure is not a reason to stop. Like any normal person I came across failure and frustrated. However, over time, learned to withdraw experience from any situations, including bad. After analyzing failure, I do not win on it, but I go further, trying not to remember the bad.

Now you know how to develop confidence, and from my personal experience, and from the answers of a psychologist. Work on yourself, and let your achievements be the highest.

Good luck to you dear readers, to new meetings in new topics.

Let's start with the wording. The explanation given by psychologists is quite complex and confused, and is approximately as follows: the person confident makes the requirements, interacts with others in achieving its goals and achieves them. He also allows himself to have these requests, allows himself to express feelings, has sufficient skills to achieve goals.

Pretty curious, but generally understandable.

Those who are constantly beating above the question: " How to be in yourself? ", We will use the characteristics of the basic qualities of a person confident. Let's look at them.

1. Self-confident man Distinguishes open emotional speech. He does not hesitate to express feelings, does not say hints, does not try his statements.

2. Confident man Shows emotions in accordance with the feelings. Does not try to joy or shock, not whispering and not mamlit.

3. Self-confident personality It is not afraid of the confrontation and boldly goes to the attack. This does not mean that you have to pounce on the interlocutor. Everything is much easier: have the courage to express your opinion without thinking how they will be perceived by others.

4. Self-confident man Says specifically and definitely, it is not afraid to say "I" and take responsibility.

5. Self-confident man Do not have any such actions as an understatement of our own opportunities, underestimation of yourself and their knowledge, insecurity in their forces, as well as business and personal qualities. Also, a confident man with dignity suffers criticism and will be happy to hear the praise.

6. Confident man Able to improvise. It is not afraid to show the emerged of the emotion, shoot a pleasure or antipathy.

Most often a question: " How to be confident?»Are people who have some complexes. For such cases, there are special trainings and advice of psychologists. The complexes can be said infinitely, but we will consider the main situations when this question may arise. And also learn about some techniques that help solve the issue how to be confident.

How to be confident at work?

As studies show, uncertainty in their professional qualities in the process of work may occur during the purpose of the goal, at the stage of compiling action plan, during the work, as well as in the correctness and evaluation of the work of work.

Everything is simple here. Target Try to formulate as clearer as much as possible and do not care if it is impossible. Always make a thoughtful action plan. Forgive to consider past actions and in the course to change current plans and actions in accordance with this. Do not be afraid to take responsibility, take the initiative, and then the question how to be confident will disappear by itself.

Do not allow yourself the wrong thoughts, like: "I will not succeed." On the contrary, we are told by yourself: "I am successful in everything, for which I take it," "I have everything."

How to be confident in your relationship with people?

Suppose you are all right at work, but you can not suck yourself in an unfamiliar company. You try to behave quietly and imperceptibly, hide in the corner, because the uncertainty that someone can be interesting with you. You are older thank you, because you are not sure that you will listen at all.

In such cases, it would be good to take advantage of psychologists and to work out confidence daily.

Start from the simplest - greetings. Training at home in a relaxed atmosphere confidently and clearly pronounce greetings.

Learn to talk with a loud voice
Training a leisurely dimension with pauses that will definitely attract attention. Do it mentally - just lying with closed eyes. Then train in front of the mirror, saying out loud.

If you do not imagine how to be confident And manifest it outwardly, watch those who have these quality. Choose who are pleasant to you and sympathetic or appreciate the actions of your favorite cinema hero. See how he walks, says, gestures.

Learn to watch the interlocutor. This can also be done in front of the mirror or find a friendly partner dedicated to your problems and work out the reception on it.

All you learned to, first work better among familiar pleasant people and the usual setting, and then go to unfamiliar people.

If you have ever been able to notice that you behaved confidently, try as best you can remember this moment. Save it in memory to the smallest things and mentally repeat it. What did you say? What did you feel? How did you keep? What gestures and facial expressions used?

When you get bored, try to try on the same sensations and external manifestations of confidence to another situation.

Travel regularly by presenting yourself completely confident man, losing various situations, including unpleasant. After all, we only think about the sap how to be confident It is after failures in difficult or ridiculous situations.

Imagine how you answer the questions of the interlocutor, ask your own (think that you could ask not to faint from fear), tell interesting story - Imagine mentally how you do it, how people behave. At the same time, follow the voice, intonation, body position, gestures.

Such classes are better to spend several times each day. On one occupation is enough for half an hour - otherwise you will be tired. Remember that this is not a game, but rather hard work and the first results may appear in only a few weeks.

How to be confident in heavier life situations?

It is no secret that, as a result of a disease or some serious life circumstance, a person, until the moment, completely prosperous, may lose confidence in itself, in its future. In such cases, professional assistance of a psychologist, group training for people with a similar situation suitable.

But you can also do something yourself.

Remember that what happened to you is just a change in life.. A person is changing as the circumstances around him. No matter how bad there is a change - accept it, do not be afraid of her, try to benefit from it.

Convince yourself that everything goes well and life on your side. This is true. If something bad happened, it is most often impossible. Attempts to fight pushing the moment of understanding the situation and adopting new conditions, prevent the situation in the situation and to adapt to the new life as soon as possible.

Whatever happens, do not blame yourself, approve your actions. Take yourself and love, tell yourself what everyone could do in this situation.

Think over the circumstances, decompose on the shelves and answer the question of what scares you most? Word positive statements themselves help you fight fear and uncertainty.

If the question is: " How to be confident? " It torments you for a long time, you will most likely not regret the time and effort to work on yourself. But do not try to achieve everything immediately and do not begin to apply the surveyed skills in your life too early. For some time you will be a confident person only at home in front of the mirror, or training in a relaxed pose on the sofa. And surrounded by people, everyone will also be engaged in the question of how to be confident.

Alexandra Panutin
Women's magazine JustLady